anguz

Hi there peeps

I know my blogs haven't exactly been regular lately. Just been so much going on that I haven't had a lot of time to write on here. I need to make the time to get on here and get my words down; if nothing else its good practice. Writers write as they say, and I haven't been doing as much of that as I probably could have been.

The Housemate Battle Royale stylee saga goes on. We had a few weeks when all was good again, but then there was another bust up last week and the atmosphere here is a bit icey. The difference this time though is that I am less inclined to "fix" things. I am starting to realise that neither me nor they have been doing anything wrong. Its just that I am becoming a very different person to who I was. I have an awesome councillor - kudos to Bob (yes he's called Bob) - who is really helping me work out who I am and what I want from life. This is awesome from one perspective. I have never been more sure of who I am or what I want and that's amazing. I have down times still, and I have times where I feel confused and so on still, but thats the way life works. In every other respect my life feels more stable than it has in a long time and I am really embracing that, but there are still changes being made.

The downside to all this is that my closest group of mates have stopped being a funny, quirky crowd of interesting young things, and have turned into the most irritating bunch of kids I have ever met. I think I brought a lot of this on myself. I just sort of fell in with that crowd and spent ages trying to convince myself that I was one of them and that I could fit in there. So, I have wasted much of my time at uni trying to be someone that I am not and now that I am being more honest with myself - more points to Bob - I am realising that this is not who I really am and that they are not the people I really wanna hang out with. Its frustrating and irritating and a whole range of other complex emotions, but we seem to slowly be finding a compromise where we can live together in peace rather than just get on each others nerves. Its fairly primitive in that its essentially "You stay outta my way and I will stay outta yours" but it seems to work.

On a lighter note, I am finally getting a picture of where I am going to be post-uni, which is terrifyingly only a few months away. I am staying on at the job I have now as I work split shifts which gives me loads of time during the day to write. I am already working on a collection of short stories for teens which I am going to try and get published after uni has finished, or when they are polished enough to be worthy of publishing, whichever comes last. Anyone who knows anything about publishing is probably laughing their ass off about my bright eyed and bushy tailed naivety about all this, but its the first time that I have actually had enough faith in my work to even consider being published, so they can fuck off.

I think that will do for now. This has become a bit of an epic. That's what happens when you don't blog for months at a time I guess. Hope everyone is good, and having lotsa sex.

Anguz
x

P.S. Yay Obama! Maybe now we can all stop hating America.