Just a quick one. My legs are killing me. My hips are giving me the worst pain they have in a long time. I have had to stop driving and I am in pain almost every second I am awake. The ibuprofen and cocodamol just about stop me screaming my head off and crying from the sheer frustration that my body hurts every minute that I am not asleep. I see the doctor on Friday. I am hoping he will remove my legs, or break them and set the bone so they are the same length, or grant me a hip replacement, or give me on of my three wishes. I hate the pain, but I can't help but think that maybe I deserve it.
I got off with my best friend. For those who don't know the term and are too stupid to work it out, that means we kissed, a lot. Now I am really confused. I love her, and I don't question that love for a second. I just don't know if I want to be with her for the shallowest of shallow reasons. She deserves better, but she wants me and I don't know what to do. Part of me knows we could be really happy together if we make a go of it and it works, and I do love being with her. Part of me wants someone slimmer, prettier, stronger. I don't know how to handle this. It is the first time I have had a shot at a "proper" relationship and I have a million and one conflicting feelings going on in my head. Help.
I got off with my best friend. For those who don't know the term and are too stupid to work it out, that means we kissed, a lot. Now I am really confused. I love her, and I don't question that love for a second. I just don't know if I want to be with her for the shallowest of shallow reasons. She deserves better, but she wants me and I don't know what to do. Part of me knows we could be really happy together if we make a go of it and it works, and I do love being with her. Part of me wants someone slimmer, prettier, stronger. I don't know how to handle this. It is the first time I have had a shot at a "proper" relationship and I have a million and one conflicting feelings going on in my head. Help.
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padre:
You sound like when you get involved with a person you take it very seriously. Almost to the point that when you are serious with a person you're in it for the "long haul" Has anything changed in the last few days?
anguz:
We're back to being friends now, and until I sort out my issues that is the best I can ask for because I can't keep messing her around with this on again off again approach. I will get there. The counciling is really helping and I have I have had some real breakthroughs recently, but I am not ready for something serious yet. I just can't handle it. I think I do see it as the "long haul" and that's why I freak. I need to get to a place where it can be one day at a time and enjoy or what it is right there rather than worry what it will be in ten days, weeks, months or years.