So far the 'rents being here has not been quite the trial I was expecting. Got the major hurdles out the way with a lot less pain than could have been had. My parents lack any kind of reasonable social skills so was really worried about them meeting my mates, but it went fairly well. One of them mentioned that it was a bit awkward, but I was expecting a lot worse.
Hmm, about her, the one who felt awkward. At a very dark point in my life not so very long ago I had a really big thing about her. I was really lonely and she was really good to me. She made me feel wanted and I haven't had a lot of that in my life. Unfortunately I fell in love with her, or what I thought was love. I don't think now that it was. It was an unhealthy obsession. That's not love. I thought she could make my whole life better and I was wrong. The only person who can do that for you is yourself. It got really hard when she started dating my best mate, and I told her I had feelings for her which was selfish and stupid, and she told me that I may have had a shot if not for present circumstances, which didn't help.
Long story short I went a bit crazy. Cue lots of crying, lots of wanting to die, and now lots of therapy. I know now that I wasn't in love with her. However, her and my mate split but now it looks like she might be hooking up with another guy from my circle. I have this huge conflict going on as I know my feelings are not the real deal but irrationality born of lonliness, yet it still really hurts that she is choosing someone else who is not me. She will never choose me now. She told me so, and after what I put her through I don't blame her. I am just worried it is going to be just as hard as it was when she was with my best mate though.... it scares me.
On another note. I am sat here tidying y room butt naked, and it feels really nice. I am finding I really like being naked. Anyone else relate? I don't mean naked as in about to get laid naked. Just naked. Feels really free and nice. I was thinking about looking into naturism, though the ugly naked people make me wary. What makes me even more wary though is the GORGEOUS naked people. How do naturists deal with seeing really hot people naked and not wanting to, ahem, display their admiration for them. I guess it is easier for women (they can just say its chilly) but for guys its not quite so simple.
Hmm, about her, the one who felt awkward. At a very dark point in my life not so very long ago I had a really big thing about her. I was really lonely and she was really good to me. She made me feel wanted and I haven't had a lot of that in my life. Unfortunately I fell in love with her, or what I thought was love. I don't think now that it was. It was an unhealthy obsession. That's not love. I thought she could make my whole life better and I was wrong. The only person who can do that for you is yourself. It got really hard when she started dating my best mate, and I told her I had feelings for her which was selfish and stupid, and she told me that I may have had a shot if not for present circumstances, which didn't help.
Long story short I went a bit crazy. Cue lots of crying, lots of wanting to die, and now lots of therapy. I know now that I wasn't in love with her. However, her and my mate split but now it looks like she might be hooking up with another guy from my circle. I have this huge conflict going on as I know my feelings are not the real deal but irrationality born of lonliness, yet it still really hurts that she is choosing someone else who is not me. She will never choose me now. She told me so, and after what I put her through I don't blame her. I am just worried it is going to be just as hard as it was when she was with my best mate though.... it scares me.
On another note. I am sat here tidying y room butt naked, and it feels really nice. I am finding I really like being naked. Anyone else relate? I don't mean naked as in about to get laid naked. Just naked. Feels really free and nice. I was thinking about looking into naturism, though the ugly naked people make me wary. What makes me even more wary though is the GORGEOUS naked people. How do naturists deal with seeing really hot people naked and not wanting to, ahem, display their admiration for them. I guess it is easier for women (they can just say its chilly) but for guys its not quite so simple.