I woke up about eleven this morning and just felt weird. I think its the start of a down session. i always feel strange in a way that I can't explain, and then I get depressed for a few days. I was supposed to be going to see a couple of movies with some friends today, and then to a flat warming after, and I just have no drive to get off my ass and go. I just want to sit in and do nothing. I know this is totally the wrong thing to do when you feel down but, I dunno, I just can't push myself. Hopefully in a day or two I'll be fine, but for right now I feel like I want to bury my head and stay out of everyone's way.
My folks are coming to Liverpool on sunday. Maybe that's what set me off. I am half looking forward to it, half dreading it. Actually I take that back. Half of me is dreading it and half of me doesn't care either way. My folks drive me crazy. They haven't been happy together since I don't know when, but they still keep on going as if they think that ignoring the problem will make it go away. Its far better for both of them to bitch and whine about each other when I head home for a few days than to actually do something about it, clearly. I just wish they would fucking split up and have done with it. It would make everyone's life a whole lot easier.
I really want to get an animal of some kind but I know its not fair on said animal. My plans all seem to be taking me over seas one way or another after I finish uni which means I would have it for a year, two tops and then it would have to be re-homed and thats not fair. As much as I want one I am not going to mess with an animals head so that I can have a year or two of being a pet owner then swan off to some other country while the poor thing is left wondering what happened. To be fair, I am not even supposed to have pets in this place, so could be even sooner than a year if I got caught with it. I just really miss having animals around seeing as for so long I was surrounded by birds, bunnies, cays and dogs. A house without an animal is like a house without a soul.
My folks are coming to Liverpool on sunday. Maybe that's what set me off. I am half looking forward to it, half dreading it. Actually I take that back. Half of me is dreading it and half of me doesn't care either way. My folks drive me crazy. They haven't been happy together since I don't know when, but they still keep on going as if they think that ignoring the problem will make it go away. Its far better for both of them to bitch and whine about each other when I head home for a few days than to actually do something about it, clearly. I just wish they would fucking split up and have done with it. It would make everyone's life a whole lot easier.
I really want to get an animal of some kind but I know its not fair on said animal. My plans all seem to be taking me over seas one way or another after I finish uni which means I would have it for a year, two tops and then it would have to be re-homed and thats not fair. As much as I want one I am not going to mess with an animals head so that I can have a year or two of being a pet owner then swan off to some other country while the poor thing is left wondering what happened. To be fair, I am not even supposed to have pets in this place, so could be even sooner than a year if I got caught with it. I just really miss having animals around seeing as for so long I was surrounded by birds, bunnies, cays and dogs. A house without an animal is like a house without a soul.
As for your parents, I'm there too. My parents likely stayed together because my younger brother has Asperger's but really the damage that did to everyone, my younger brother included) pretty much showed that they shouldn't have stayed together. Still, while you might believe they should just split, there might be something they don't show you that makes them want to stay together.
I want a pet too but am in the same "where will I be in a year?" position... is it not possible to take the pet with you? I mean, you sound like you want a cat... not a horse
Talk later, my friend. Hang in there, okay? Trust me, it does get better.
(manly) xx