Life is funny one moment your doing great and happy the next your all the way on the floor. LEts recap the last month shall we ? Lost my job found out my wife has an online boyfriend so getting a divorce so now letting my house go back to the bank and moving to kc. I have learned alot about my friends over these last few weeks . It is no one responsability to take care of me but people who i thought were long time friends have barely said a word to me in this time when i need them the most . The good friends the close ones are there yet seem like anytime you talk abotu how down you are or anything relating to your situations its like you just developed a contagious rash. I have spent all of my time trying to be a good friend when i know they are down i try to take them out get them out of their house maybe a drink who knows something to give them a lift and know someone cares. My "friends" are more the oposite I still find myself more trying to help them in all of this. I dont know I am rambling I am about to move to a new ciy where i know maybe 4 people. I feel very alone in the world at the moment . I have been staying in the hosue with my soon to be ex until i move over the last couple of weeks and I think it is finally begining to tear me up. People wonder why I become anti social at times i think maybe its because thats how I am normally left to deal with things. I am excited to go to kc and make new friends and a new life . There are maybe 3 or 4 people I will miss here outside of my family and sons . its jsut funny though when you get the plague treatment. It starts with a long pause and then followed up by an awkward sorry man and a swift change of the subject . I guess maybe i put on too much of a face like I am fine but my good close friends should see through that honestly . The relationship ending I am not as broken up as I should be so thats either a sign that it was time or that I have just yet failed to deal with it . I must admit it is rough living here watching her chat with him online all the time and having her freind come by and stick her nose deep in it all and stir up as much drama as possible. I have been trying to listen to upbeat or t least up tempo music . I have found the tempo of music really does affect my mood. I have found all sorts of new music lately and that is freaking great. I am looking very forward to being able to play in a abnd again that part will really help . Playign music is my therapy 