angryjohnny

Control

Self-destructive.

Simple words,
they never meant anything to me
before.

But now I'm feeling
like breaking something,
like breaking myself.
Like driving somewhere,
downing something,
coming to terms with knuckles
and metal and bone.

Diving off the end of the world,
hiding, running, hostile.
Like a dragon, like a lion,
teeth bared, stomach clenched,
like a fucking dragon.

Like taking something lovely
and tearing it to shreds
for the sake of my soul,
for my soul.

Lashing out, exploding
in a fit of rage and red,
dying in a sudden burst of flame,
instead of day by day,
minute by minute,
seconds ticking...ticking by.

So this is what it feels like
to own nothing,
to have no control...
none.