angryjezabelle

My father died of cancer a few years back. He was a very abusive person to me my whole life. Today it dawned on me that although I had hated him for what he did, I loved him for who he was. It was such a bittersweet goodbye, I finally felt safe and sound with his passing. Now, he haunts me in my dreams. The ability to let go of the past is a difficult skill. How can I forgive this man that ruined my life with violence? Sometimes when I was a child I wished my parents would divorce, or that he would disappear. That was how much he scared me. You see, tonight is different. I miss my father, and wish he would re-appear. Why does life have to be so contradicting all the time?
~Jez