On Friday, one of my closest friends passed away unexpectedly in hospital. She was only 27 years old, & possibly the coolest chick I have ever known. The epitome of a worldclass SuicideGirl!
The timing of this tragedy couldn't have been worse: She & her man had gotten engaged on her birthday (9th September), & were due to get married on 22nd April. They had just adopted 2 puppies to add to their family of 3 cats (she was forever rescuing animals in need!), & were going to be moving into their new house on 1st December.
She had been complaining of extremely bad lower back pain for several weeks, & had undergone a battery of tests to try & determine the cause. On Thursday she had gone into (Sunninghill) hospital for a lumbar puncture, & was staying overnight, in preparation for some MRI scans the following morning. We are still not quite sure what went wrong. The postmortem was scheduled for yesterday. We await the results.
Here is a recent pic of her (she was a freelance makeup artist), & below that a copy of the eulogy I wrote yesterday to read out at her funeral on Thursday afternoon. It is going to be held in the chapel where they were due to be married. The part about spreading her "inky wings" is in reference to the huge angel wings tattoo she had done earlier this year across her entire back. It was almost as though she subconciously knew what tragedy lay just a few short months ahead...
"As surreal as this is for me to stand up here today in this beautiful place where Angela & Richard were due to take their vows in a few months time I feel a strong sense of obligation to each & every one of you, to put into words exactly how much Ange meant to me as a friend, & the role she played in my life, as the younger sister I never had.
Ange, you came into my life 8 years ago, as a mischievous teenager, & through Life's lessons I watched you blossom from a floundering fledgling into an extraordinary, self-assured young woman, beautiful both inside & out. In fact, I think it was this rare & exotic beauty that was key to both building you up &, at times, breaking you down. But I know now that behind that urchin smile & those seaside eyes was an ancient soul, with a maturity & wisdom that went far beyond your surface years.
I still cannot rationalise your tragic passing one moment you were there, then strangely you were gone but one thing I am sure of is how truly & utterly honoured I feel to have had you as a friend. The bitterness & numbness of the past few days have given way to a calm & haunting acceptance, & a burning message: You have reminded all of us about how precious & fragile Life really is.
Ange, you & I shared some incredible times together, both happy & sad. From successes to failures; inspiration, ideas, passions & advice; challenges, frustrations & woes you were always by my side. We shared dancefloors, books, beds, shoes, food, movies, clothes, girly secrets, photographs & many, many songs. We shared laughter, & tears. We shared hopes & plans, dreams & fears. Over the years we must've written a mountain of emails, letters & postcards to one another. And even though there were times when we were living oceans apart, you always held a very special place inside my heart.
Your passing has left a huge void in all of our lives. We will miss your colourful, creative & charismatic ways, your enormous heart & your ready grin. Thank you for bringing Richard into our lives. In fact, if it werent for you, Lee & I wouldn't know half the amazing people in this room today. The sheer enormity of the love that I feel around me right now pays testament to the wonderful person that you were & how many lives you touched in your short lifetime. Ange, on behalf of everyone here today, & also those who couldn't make it but who are with us in spirit, we hope that this send-off pays a fitting tribute to the magical adventure that was your life. And though we cannot see you any longer, we will cherish our memories of you deep within our hearts. You led a bold & brave life, & it is for this that you will always be remembered.
Ange, you always dreamed big, & rightly so. You were an incredibly talented person, in so many ways. I always believed you were destined for bigger & better things. I know how much you loved being in the spotlight. So, Ms Angela Wheal, if there is a Hollywood in heaven, I'm sure the angels are rolling out the red carpet awaiting your arrival. It's time to spread your inky wings & take to the skies. Until we meet again, my sweet friend, I bid you goodbye..."
In loving memory of Angela Jane Wheal
9th September 1978 25th November 2005
The timing of this tragedy couldn't have been worse: She & her man had gotten engaged on her birthday (9th September), & were due to get married on 22nd April. They had just adopted 2 puppies to add to their family of 3 cats (she was forever rescuing animals in need!), & were going to be moving into their new house on 1st December.
She had been complaining of extremely bad lower back pain for several weeks, & had undergone a battery of tests to try & determine the cause. On Thursday she had gone into (Sunninghill) hospital for a lumbar puncture, & was staying overnight, in preparation for some MRI scans the following morning. We are still not quite sure what went wrong. The postmortem was scheduled for yesterday. We await the results.
Here is a recent pic of her (she was a freelance makeup artist), & below that a copy of the eulogy I wrote yesterday to read out at her funeral on Thursday afternoon. It is going to be held in the chapel where they were due to be married. The part about spreading her "inky wings" is in reference to the huge angel wings tattoo she had done earlier this year across her entire back. It was almost as though she subconciously knew what tragedy lay just a few short months ahead...
"As surreal as this is for me to stand up here today in this beautiful place where Angela & Richard were due to take their vows in a few months time I feel a strong sense of obligation to each & every one of you, to put into words exactly how much Ange meant to me as a friend, & the role she played in my life, as the younger sister I never had.
Ange, you came into my life 8 years ago, as a mischievous teenager, & through Life's lessons I watched you blossom from a floundering fledgling into an extraordinary, self-assured young woman, beautiful both inside & out. In fact, I think it was this rare & exotic beauty that was key to both building you up &, at times, breaking you down. But I know now that behind that urchin smile & those seaside eyes was an ancient soul, with a maturity & wisdom that went far beyond your surface years.
I still cannot rationalise your tragic passing one moment you were there, then strangely you were gone but one thing I am sure of is how truly & utterly honoured I feel to have had you as a friend. The bitterness & numbness of the past few days have given way to a calm & haunting acceptance, & a burning message: You have reminded all of us about how precious & fragile Life really is.
Ange, you & I shared some incredible times together, both happy & sad. From successes to failures; inspiration, ideas, passions & advice; challenges, frustrations & woes you were always by my side. We shared dancefloors, books, beds, shoes, food, movies, clothes, girly secrets, photographs & many, many songs. We shared laughter, & tears. We shared hopes & plans, dreams & fears. Over the years we must've written a mountain of emails, letters & postcards to one another. And even though there were times when we were living oceans apart, you always held a very special place inside my heart.
Your passing has left a huge void in all of our lives. We will miss your colourful, creative & charismatic ways, your enormous heart & your ready grin. Thank you for bringing Richard into our lives. In fact, if it werent for you, Lee & I wouldn't know half the amazing people in this room today. The sheer enormity of the love that I feel around me right now pays testament to the wonderful person that you were & how many lives you touched in your short lifetime. Ange, on behalf of everyone here today, & also those who couldn't make it but who are with us in spirit, we hope that this send-off pays a fitting tribute to the magical adventure that was your life. And though we cannot see you any longer, we will cherish our memories of you deep within our hearts. You led a bold & brave life, & it is for this that you will always be remembered.
Ange, you always dreamed big, & rightly so. You were an incredibly talented person, in so many ways. I always believed you were destined for bigger & better things. I know how much you loved being in the spotlight. So, Ms Angela Wheal, if there is a Hollywood in heaven, I'm sure the angels are rolling out the red carpet awaiting your arrival. It's time to spread your inky wings & take to the skies. Until we meet again, my sweet friend, I bid you goodbye..."
In loving memory of Angela Jane Wheal
9th September 1978 25th November 2005
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Angie's fiance, Richard, & her younger brother, Donovan, were also planning on joining them a little later on. Who would've thought that this "coming together" of all these young blokes (aged 26 - 30) would've happened over such an insane tragedy. They should've all been getting together for a bachelor party in 5 month's time, not preparing for a fucking funeral
I'm sorry, but it's just so bloody unfair. I'm off to bed now. Hope I can "keep it together" during my speech at the funeral tomorrow...
The spot in the memorial gardens where Rich & the family have chosen to lay her ashes is lovely - alone, in the shade of a sapling, facing the new house that she & Rich were to be moving into on the day of her funeral.
The memorial service later that afternoon was also quite beautiful. The venue was exquisite (a Tuscan-styled country setting), the weather sublime, & the tributes very moving.
The one dark cloud that continues to hang over Rich & the family, however, is the fact that the autopsy did not manage to reveal the actual cause of death, & hence will hinder the sense of closure that they so desperately seek. Angie's death certificate merely reads: Unnatural Causes...