angiemcgee

So it's been a while, since i've journal-ed on here... if you have a chance you should check out some rants at yummymeat.com... it's got cool-semi-rnadomness with some blogs... blah blah... so, it's my fuckin birthday... and much like any other day where celebration is supposed to occur, i find myself feeling like a recluse... So anyways, here's the update... still wish i could get my photoset shit together... timing is always fucked... i'm feeling morbidly obese today (yay for bodyimage issues...) in otherwords, my bodymind isn't feeling very integrated... damn right left body split... so i was successful at the no weed for like almost 2 months and then i got some for 420... and buy, was it all over then... besides, the no weed was contributing to my raging alchaholism and rage-aholism... if you don't believe me about the rage, read by blogs about how many people can suck my balls... jesus christ, i tell ya, i was On one...
Resulting in breaking up with Josh, which is fine needed to occur... but i've been totally acting out between hyperproductivity and sleeping all day, swearing to go straight edge then drunk dialing peaches lyrics to old bosses and hot hiphop teachers named dante... and cussing out my ex's friends for inviting me to hang out with them... all over the place... sometimes i'm zen and sometimes i can barely go on... does that make me bipolar... i also noticed that i'm totally all about obsessing about what's wrong with me, forgetting to remember that (said in psycho voice) "I'M EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE RIGHT NOW!!" yeah, right, living in your mom's house is sooo awesome.. blah... work is picking up, but is still unpredictable... stuff movong forward generally however... i think, i hope... i was thinking i should spend my birthday as a proclamation of how i want to live my whole next year and then i jsut got stoned and watched Cathy Griffin and then Law and Order... i tried to go rent baraka and pretend to be on shrooms, but Blockbuster didn't carry it... go figure... i have a crush on my friend's ex who is also my ex's friends, make sense? anyways, that blows because it is sooo off limits... just block it out because of social resraints, i suppose, even though those are pretty weak and lame, anyways... stop rambling... do stuff, stuff stuff clean... ..........................................................