angelsarenymphos

Spent all day at the Cancer Institute (of NJ) trying to get things accomplished such as acquiring medications and trying to find out if anything perilous might be hiding in my left lung.......AGAIN as if I'm not freakin tired of this! But, I digress. It could be worse like in a half hour I will be making a two hour trip to the funeral of someone who actually died of cancer .....not died and came back like I was lucky enough to do....I think (it all is seeming less and less worth it and maybe the great rubber band ball in the sky is more peaceful but there are developmentally disabled children who will be counting on me so I need to stay here....bollix) Hmmm maybe things like that are why my social worker feels that I should go to a group ....but I told her that would just make me more quiet about things because i will feel (as she even said) that I'm there to help the other people...which will not work plus i will likely just think that I have no right to bitch because others had it worse....which will also not help. I have no intention of having my friends and relatives know how terrified or depressed or lonely I can get but here since no one knows me from Adam and Eve, I can write any asshole feelings that I have here because it is my blog and no one cares....its not as though I would put this on face book because I would get about 45-50 phone calls immediately BUT since only one of you that I am aware of actually has my number and is highly unlikely to call I'm pretty sure i can be a cancer surviving dick. Oooh that might feel just a tad better. but then again I probably would have felt better later tonight after i participated in the Villa Nova young women cancer study thingy that I'm in but I had to call out of that to go to the funeral so i am writing this ass long blog that luckily no one is going to read and i think maybe it was in some way therapeutic.....ok extremely better looking than me and vain sister is here and has apparently brought 8,000 pairs of shoes that she wants to try on for approval ....sigh....as the Budweiser commercials say and I quote Here we go