i need to start updating more.. i just haven't been in the mood..
i hate fucking winter, it makes me so depressed.. during the winter the only time i'm happy is when i'm drunk or stoned.. or with my friends or marshall.. but they're all usually busy and not around..
all this week i've been sort of out of it.. i wasn't really sure why and just blamed it on depression, but i don't have severe depression. but i figured it out.. the old symptoms and emotions.. the ocd kicking in = anxiety. i always have anxiety, but i haven't had panic attacks in almost a year.. now they're swinging back in full force.. and it's always when i'm here in this house. i can't fucking stand this place.. that's why i always stayed at friends dorms or apartments until i found my own apartment.. the only reason i moved back to this fucking house was becuz marshall wanted to live somewhere where we didn't have to pay rent.. but now he's moving out! hell if i stay here alone! i feel like i have no privacy whatsoever.. ppl are always walking downstairs without knocking first, going thu my shit to see what i'm up to.. i feel like someone's always watching me, scrutinizing everything i do, every move i make.. and whenever my mom sees me the first thing out of her mouth is "are you ok?" like i can't fucking take care of myself! i was planning on just sticking it out till i paid off my credit cards.. but i'll fucking go insane before that happens! if living my life in debt means i get to move out of this fucking house, i'm totally up for it! i don't feel comfortable here.. i feel like i'm trying to crawl out of my skin!
anyone need a roomie?
i was on roommates.com and found a couple in manchester that are looking for a roommate to take the second bedroom in their apartment.. $350/mo.. that's $100 more than i was paying in lowell, but it's the same town as my college.. and it gets me out of salem! i'm waiting to hear back from them.. i'll definitely have to get a second job, but i don't care.. i can't stand it here anymore!
marshall's going to the stripclub tonight.. i want to go, but i have to work
oh well, the stripclub isn't going anywhere, they'll be other times..
i got the phone bill fixed too.. for some reason they charged us for two familyplans, when the 3 of us share one, so our bill was doubled! but i went and talked to the lady at the cingular place and she got the bill cut in half, and switched it so that one phone has the familyshare plan and the other two are added lines.. or something like that.. i don't know, but it's a lot lower now
thanks for listening to my ranting and bitching.. i'm just giong nuts in this house and need to get the fuck out..
i hate fucking winter, it makes me so depressed.. during the winter the only time i'm happy is when i'm drunk or stoned.. or with my friends or marshall.. but they're all usually busy and not around..
all this week i've been sort of out of it.. i wasn't really sure why and just blamed it on depression, but i don't have severe depression. but i figured it out.. the old symptoms and emotions.. the ocd kicking in = anxiety. i always have anxiety, but i haven't had panic attacks in almost a year.. now they're swinging back in full force.. and it's always when i'm here in this house. i can't fucking stand this place.. that's why i always stayed at friends dorms or apartments until i found my own apartment.. the only reason i moved back to this fucking house was becuz marshall wanted to live somewhere where we didn't have to pay rent.. but now he's moving out! hell if i stay here alone! i feel like i have no privacy whatsoever.. ppl are always walking downstairs without knocking first, going thu my shit to see what i'm up to.. i feel like someone's always watching me, scrutinizing everything i do, every move i make.. and whenever my mom sees me the first thing out of her mouth is "are you ok?" like i can't fucking take care of myself! i was planning on just sticking it out till i paid off my credit cards.. but i'll fucking go insane before that happens! if living my life in debt means i get to move out of this fucking house, i'm totally up for it! i don't feel comfortable here.. i feel like i'm trying to crawl out of my skin!
anyone need a roomie?
i was on roommates.com and found a couple in manchester that are looking for a roommate to take the second bedroom in their apartment.. $350/mo.. that's $100 more than i was paying in lowell, but it's the same town as my college.. and it gets me out of salem! i'm waiting to hear back from them.. i'll definitely have to get a second job, but i don't care.. i can't stand it here anymore!
marshall's going to the stripclub tonight.. i want to go, but i have to work
oh well, the stripclub isn't going anywhere, they'll be other times..
i got the phone bill fixed too.. for some reason they charged us for two familyplans, when the 3 of us share one, so our bill was doubled! but i went and talked to the lady at the cingular place and she got the bill cut in half, and switched it so that one phone has the familyshare plan and the other two are added lines.. or something like that.. i don't know, but it's a lot lower now
thanks for listening to my ranting and bitching.. i'm just giong nuts in this house and need to get the fuck out..
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sixothree:
p.s. i think those pink bangs are rockin! 
lollypopsnaggler: