I am so not impressed....i just got half way through writing my new blog and windows explorer dies and lost it all. So irritating....considering i was fairly cheerful as well, now i'm cheerful but narky. God Damn.
Right....i'll start again shall i?
Its been an odd couple of weeks. I havn't been online as much as i wanted as i've not been home a lot plus i'm still having trouble with my electric and i haven't wanted to use too much. Hence, the freezing fingers (dare not put a heater on) and the lack of updates....eep. Today i just thought, Fuck it, i need to update so i damn well will. I bet i get halfway through this and the electric will go off....
Ian has been making it very clear that he wants to be with me. We have been spending a lot of time together, he has taken me out for a meal, we have been to the cinema, to York for the day, he comes over for DVD nights (Re-animator and Pet Cemetary the other night - Funny as Fook)....he really is a honey
I would be lying if i said that a) I didn't find him attractive and b) i didn't enjoy the attention, but i am feeling a little hemmed in....he considers us to be 'seeing' each other, which i guess is true to some extent, however, i still consider myself to be single, and i have absolutely no desire to change this status with him or anyone. I do really like him, and i have been brutally honest with him, telling him i don't want a relationship and that i am still in love with someone else. He told me that was fair enough, and that we should just have fun together if thats all i can offer. Thats fine with me, but i am worried he will get to into me and i'll end up hurting him...i'm not trying to sound big-headed, but we do get on very well and i don't want him to get too attached to me...
I don't see the point in starting a relationship when i am not over the last one (it usually only takes me a week FFS!) and when pinklet and I are going to be moving to London together next year. Whats the point in starting a relationship with someone that is doomed from the start?! Still, he knows the score, so i will just see what happens, at least i have made a new friend Plus, we are going to see Megadeath in Manchester next year....woohoo!!!
I am no longer talking to Luke, which is a bugger as he is one of my bext friends AND he does my tattoos. He is 23, and has decided to pursue a girl of 16. I appreciate 6 years is not a big gap, but i have seen her out around town and know what she is like. I think she is just to young for him. Plus Luke is very intense, and i am worried he will fall for her and get hurt
Still, it means i don't have to spend half my time trying to fob him off! *sniggers*
My little sister came over for a bit of a drinking sesh last night We had chinese, watched Kung Pow (I nearly died with laughter) and Brotherhood of the Wolf (I spent the whole film going on about one of the characters noses - it was huge and i have a MASSIVE weakness for men with big noses). Then after 2 bottles of wine we started chatting about all the shit that has been happening with us both recently. It was so good to get it all off my chest - i don't want to talk to my friends about it all again - they will think i am a loon for not being over it all (they know what i'm like, never usually takes me this long ) but i so needed to talk about again, and she needed to talk about stuff too so it was perfect for us both. I do feel better for getting it off my chest, but, alas i am still an emotional wreck....sigh. Still, at least i can think about it all without turning into a pool of blubbering jelly. Now i just sniffle a little 
So....1st of Dec i have a wedding to attend with Torgaddon, Lilandra and her husband Marc. I'm looking forward to it, i think it will be a break that i need, without men trying to jump my bones, being with friends who know all about my dramas of the last few weeks and have supported me through it
The weekend after is the SG Manchester meet, i am stupidly excited about it. I make little noises to myself when i think about going!! I'll get to see killa_ again (she is awesome and i love her), plus many others. New friends i hope, i do love meeting new people Then the weekend after that i am having a Xmas party - Natty and i could not be bothered to go out this year so on the 24th we are going to sit in with some mulled wine and xmas DVD's The party should be fun i hope, close enough to xmas for us toi be in the mood, but not so close we shall ruin the day by being hungover!
What have all of you been upto this weekend? I hope you are all well and happy, and if not drop me a line and i'll help
Love you all xxxxx
P.S - i can't find a picture of the INSIDE album cover for The Misfits - Earth AD anywhere online. I want it as a tattoo on my leg, but can't find the fooking picture....can anyone help pls?
P.P.S - deadmanshand you can take pix of me in my pants whenever you want - i'm getting really antsy about shooting a set and the sooner the better!
Right....i'll start again shall i?
Its been an odd couple of weeks. I havn't been online as much as i wanted as i've not been home a lot plus i'm still having trouble with my electric and i haven't wanted to use too much. Hence, the freezing fingers (dare not put a heater on) and the lack of updates....eep. Today i just thought, Fuck it, i need to update so i damn well will. I bet i get halfway through this and the electric will go off....
Ian has been making it very clear that he wants to be with me. We have been spending a lot of time together, he has taken me out for a meal, we have been to the cinema, to York for the day, he comes over for DVD nights (Re-animator and Pet Cemetary the other night - Funny as Fook)....he really is a honey
I would be lying if i said that a) I didn't find him attractive and b) i didn't enjoy the attention, but i am feeling a little hemmed in....he considers us to be 'seeing' each other, which i guess is true to some extent, however, i still consider myself to be single, and i have absolutely no desire to change this status with him or anyone. I do really like him, and i have been brutally honest with him, telling him i don't want a relationship and that i am still in love with someone else. He told me that was fair enough, and that we should just have fun together if thats all i can offer. Thats fine with me, but i am worried he will get to into me and i'll end up hurting him...i'm not trying to sound big-headed, but we do get on very well and i don't want him to get too attached to me...I don't see the point in starting a relationship when i am not over the last one (it usually only takes me a week FFS!) and when pinklet and I are going to be moving to London together next year. Whats the point in starting a relationship with someone that is doomed from the start?! Still, he knows the score, so i will just see what happens, at least i have made a new friend
Plus, we are going to see Megadeath in Manchester next year....woohoo!!!I am no longer talking to Luke, which is a bugger as he is one of my bext friends AND he does my tattoos. He is 23, and has decided to pursue a girl of 16. I appreciate 6 years is not a big gap, but i have seen her out around town and know what she is like. I think she is just to young for him. Plus Luke is very intense, and i am worried he will fall for her and get hurt
Still, it means i don't have to spend half my time trying to fob him off! *sniggers*My little sister came over for a bit of a drinking sesh last night
We had chinese, watched Kung Pow (I nearly died with laughter) and Brotherhood of the Wolf (I spent the whole film going on about one of the characters noses - it was huge and i have a MASSIVE weakness for men with big noses). Then after 2 bottles of wine we started chatting about all the shit that has been happening with us both recently. It was so good to get it all off my chest - i don't want to talk to my friends about it all again - they will think i am a loon for not being over it all (they know what i'm like, never usually takes me this long ) but i so needed to talk about again, and she needed to talk about stuff too so it was perfect for us both. I do feel better for getting it off my chest, but, alas i am still an emotional wreck....sigh. Still, at least i can think about it all without turning into a pool of blubbering jelly. Now i just sniffle a little So....1st of Dec i have a wedding to attend with Torgaddon, Lilandra and her husband Marc. I'm looking forward to it, i think it will be a break that i need, without men trying to jump my bones, being with friends who know all about my dramas of the last few weeks and have supported me through it
The weekend after is the SG Manchester meet, i am stupidly excited about it. I make little noises to myself when i think about going!! I'll get to see killa_ again (she is awesome and i love her), plus many others. New friends i hope, i do love meeting new people
Then the weekend after that i am having a Xmas party - Natty and i could not be bothered to go out this year so on the 24th we are going to sit in with some mulled wine and xmas DVD's The party should be fun i hope, close enough to xmas for us toi be in the mood, but not so close we shall ruin the day by being hungover!What have all of you been upto this weekend? I hope you are all well and happy, and if not drop me a line and i'll help
Love you all xxxxx
P.S - i can't find a picture of the INSIDE album cover for The Misfits - Earth AD anywhere online. I want it as a tattoo on my leg, but can't find the fooking picture....can anyone help pls?
P.P.S - deadmanshand you can take pix of me in my pants whenever you want - i'm getting really antsy about shooting a set and the sooner the better!
VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
And less alcohol! Oh damn I said it...
Could you buy the Misfits album to get the picture hun? That's what i'd do I know it's a more expensive option but i've got more money than sense and i'm absoloutley bloody skint So that tells you how much sense i've got lol
Take care sweetie I really hope things start to improve for you You deserve to be happy *hugs*