anemilee

Massive Update, Part 1: Parties, Reviews, Recommendations, and the usual weirdness.

Jan 1, New Year's Eve

A little boring. Didn't do much, just a small get together, though I did learn that it pays to forage your own chanterelles...yummy!

Jan 3, The Boy's Birthday

I thought I was clever. I thought I was so very, very clever...
So, the boy wants to go to a fancy restaurant for his birthday, just the two of us. Because his Christmas and birthday presents were sorta combined (poor baby, he got Cirque de Soliel tickets), I wanted to make the restaurant something special, and decided on a ferry trip to Sausalito.
PROBLEM: The ferry does not run late enough to take us back.
SOLUTION: Convoluted, requiring a precise time table, and an attempted proof of how much I care for the boy. I drive to the ferry in Sausalito, leave my car there, take the ferry into SF, take BART to Daly City, where I meet the boy in his car, then drive the boy (it's his birthday, he shouldn't have to drive into SF!) back to the pier, all the while pretending that we're going to dinner somewhere in the city. We stop for drinks, then I walk him along the Embarcadero and SURPRISE, oh look, here's a ferry, let's get on it! Lovely, right?
PROBLEM: As it turns out...neither of us likes ferries very much. This was exactly the second time in my life I've been on in a ocean-going vessel, and I forgot just how seasick I get, and even though it's freezing, boy insists on sitting outside with me until I feel better, which is never. The dinner was nice, though...the waiters just snobby enough, the food pretty good, the setting all cozy and sea-side.

Also, I did all of the above wearing stilettos, a LBD, and a grey, hooded cape lined in purple satin with matching gloves...once again proving to myself the importance of a singular principle: OWNING IT. And trust me, if you're going to prance around touristy SF in that kinda getup, you have GOT to own it.

Jan 9, Crystal's Party

Crystal: Come to my party, my hot boyfriend's geeky, attractive, single friends will be there!
Me: Okay! I'm so glad to finally be meeting new people! Let me get all excited and spend an inordinate amount of time doing my makeup!
Crystal: Welcome to my party, which boy do you like best!
Me: Well...there's actually only two single guys here. I guess I like that one...
Crystal: Oh no! He's a jerk! How about the other one! He's a twenty, and a virgin, and really could use some help with that!
Me: ......................................................................................................................no.

Also, everyone was impressed that I wore my tutu...I mean, dude, it's a pink-and-black birthday party. The only thing reason I didn't wear my tiara was that I knew Crystal would be wearing hers...

Jan 10, Review: Cirque de Soliel's "Ovo"

So here's the interesting thing about having friends who are gymnasts, aerialists, hoopers, jugglers, dancers, fire spinners, circus freaks, clowns, designers, costumers, seamstresses, artists and generally awesome people...I've become rather jaded about the circus. Not that I personally have any real skills, but the trick that acrobat is doing isn't nearly as compelling when just that morning I saw a dude do the same thing halfway up a rock wall, and he wasn't even getting any applause. I still go to real buy-a-ticket circuses once or twice a year, but I've found that what I look for in a performance is different. I am more impressed by the subtle-but-difficult tricks, than by the showy-but-actually-easy ones.
The best analogy I can think of is from (nerd alert!) Farscape. There is a particular episode where the hot grey chick blows a guy's mind by spinning fire in front of him. The first time I saw it, I was a sheltered highschooler, and I thought, oh look she's making these designs in the air with fire, that's really awesome. Now when I watch it, I think, oh look, even though she's a beginner, and her planes are all off, and she can only do one move, that's still really awesome BECAUSE she's doing it covered in highly flammable, melty paint and clothing. As I learn more, what I appreciate in fire dancing/circuses/general freak shows changes.

BAD: Profoundly disappointing aerialists. Graceful, and really good at holding onto a rope, but rather one trick ponies. Also, profoundly annoying clown. He wanted to be Jim Carey. I wanted to punch him in the face. The contact jugglers, well, didn't. And the Chinese yo-yoer? Let's just say I've gone to school with, been best friends with, and lived underneath (THAT was fun) a variety of Chinese yo-yo enthusiasts, and you haven't seen anything till you see 40 people do what this yo-yoer did, in unison. Also, I can get better contact yoga at Burning Man. All in all, it took me the entire first act to reach the necessary suspension of disbelief, but once I did...

GOOD: Chinese acrobats. Here's my play-by-play. "Oh look, a group of tiny Asian girls who are juggling things with their feet. Oh look, more tiny Asian girls are balancing the first tiny Asian girls, who are still juggling things with their feet. .........................And now while the first group continues to juggle things with its feet, the second group of tiny Asian girls is juggling.............well, the first group of tiny Asian girls. WITH THEIR FEET."
Also good: The costumer who marched up to the performer and said "Here. I've designed a giant slinky. PUT IT ON."
And good in its own way: It's hard to appreciate to appreciate a well-attired performer's slacklining skills when all you're thinking is "wait, wait, hold STILL goddamnit, I wanna see your stitching."

AWESOME: Again, here's a play-by-play. "Oh look, they're finally climbing out on the rock wall in the back. Oh lord, they've been doing it for minutes. I hope this isn't supposed to be impressive. Hell, even I can do that...those are evenly spaced bucket holds. I'm booo--HOLY SHIT!" Sufficed to say, the things you can do with a climbing wall, a trampoline, and a few well-proportioned gentlemen are amazing.

That's all for now...oh wait, one more thing. I got an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas. It is awesome, in that it actually takes twice as long as a real oven and is in no way less dangerous. The boy got it for me because that's his nickname for my apartment, and because it's adorable. From now on, though, I'm ordering all my EBO cake mixes online because Toys R Us is one of the most depressingly gender-segregated places ever.