Review: Avatar
AKA
Heart of Glowy Blueness Meets Dances with Humanoids
AKA
Racist, Imperialist, Heart-and-Mind Wish Fulfillment Porn
AKA
It's okay...because...they're aliens?
All right, let's just get this out of the way: Avatar is NOT a good movie. It's a neat movie. It's a spiffy movie. It is, occasionally, a pretty movie, and twice a beautiful one. But it isn't GOOD.
...You should probably go see it anyway.
Why? Because some one put a lot of money into those floaty frog things that don't get nearly enough screen time. And they have subvocalizers, even though half the American audience won't get what they are. And that giant red bird thing is kinda cool, even though it should probably be blue (don't predators want to sneak up on their prey?). And that chick's lips and teeth are pretty awesome.
Oh yes, speaking of that chick, you need to read this: "Please Mount My Hot Blue Alien" by Mark Morford in the Chronicle.
...It's funny because it's true. He doesn't even need to mention that fact that she gets to run around topless because she's a special effect.
This article is also the reason why I kept cracking up at inappropriate moments and why I found the movie to be a lot more hilarious than the creators probably intended. Here's a rundown of my reactions:
25% OMG, that is so racist. They can't...can they do that?
50% Oh, this is just wrong. I shouldn't be watching this with my parents. I feel dirty.
15% Seriously, is she NEVER going to have a nip slip?
10% I gotta pee. (Okay, this wasn't a reaction to the movie itself, but to its length).
The one thing I did truly enjoy was the bad guy. On the one hand, in just about any other war/action/shoot the aliens movie, he'd be the GOOD guy. We'd be ROOTING for him. It was like they just yanked the hero out of another film (coughcoughStarshipTrooperscoughcough), and made him the bad guy...and boy, is he bad. He has no depth, no nuances, and the audience is free to hate him without prejudice, and it's okay, because they're not really hating the commanders in Iraq, they're hating some one in a movie who isn't really even military. Really. It's not the same. We're not transferring at all...
Oh yeah, and I'm not sick anymore. Yay!
AKA
Heart of Glowy Blueness Meets Dances with Humanoids
AKA
Racist, Imperialist, Heart-and-Mind Wish Fulfillment Porn
AKA
It's okay...because...they're aliens?
All right, let's just get this out of the way: Avatar is NOT a good movie. It's a neat movie. It's a spiffy movie. It is, occasionally, a pretty movie, and twice a beautiful one. But it isn't GOOD.
...You should probably go see it anyway.
Why? Because some one put a lot of money into those floaty frog things that don't get nearly enough screen time. And they have subvocalizers, even though half the American audience won't get what they are. And that giant red bird thing is kinda cool, even though it should probably be blue (don't predators want to sneak up on their prey?). And that chick's lips and teeth are pretty awesome.
Oh yes, speaking of that chick, you need to read this: "Please Mount My Hot Blue Alien" by Mark Morford in the Chronicle.
...It's funny because it's true. He doesn't even need to mention that fact that she gets to run around topless because she's a special effect.
This article is also the reason why I kept cracking up at inappropriate moments and why I found the movie to be a lot more hilarious than the creators probably intended. Here's a rundown of my reactions:
25% OMG, that is so racist. They can't...can they do that?
50% Oh, this is just wrong. I shouldn't be watching this with my parents. I feel dirty.
15% Seriously, is she NEVER going to have a nip slip?
10% I gotta pee. (Okay, this wasn't a reaction to the movie itself, but to its length).
The one thing I did truly enjoy was the bad guy. On the one hand, in just about any other war/action/shoot the aliens movie, he'd be the GOOD guy. We'd be ROOTING for him. It was like they just yanked the hero out of another film (coughcoughStarshipTrooperscoughcough), and made him the bad guy...and boy, is he bad. He has no depth, no nuances, and the audience is free to hate him without prejudice, and it's okay, because they're not really hating the commanders in Iraq, they're hating some one in a movie who isn't really even military. Really. It's not the same. We're not transferring at all...
Oh yeah, and I'm not sick anymore. Yay!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
What's more, in a week, I'll be on a ferry between Tarifa and Tangiers! w00t! One more dream, about to be fulfilled. I've been fascinated with Interzone, pardon, Morocco, ever since I became aware of William Burroughs and the RPG "On the Edge".