Day Five (2001)
A day of racing clouds and events. The sky has been grey all day and the clouds have sped across the sky as though pursued. Rehearsal day. One day before the wedding. The clouds begin to mist even as we walk out to begin the rehearsal. Beautiful misty rain that hugs the ground and casts a fine spray in your face, as though you stand on the prow of a ship. But beautiful as rain may be one cannot hold a wedding in it. So we moved inside. Low slung oaken beams and stone wall will most likely frame our marriage as mist from the hills greens the gardens. How the guests will like it I don’t know but for Danaide and I it seems appropriate. The rehearsal went as smoothly as possible I suppose but my place is not in the spotlight. The eyes on me pressure me to be more than I am and make me less than at home. I am disappointed in the vows that I have written, I strive for a Spartan simplicity in my life and in my prose, an elegance that speaks of clean lines and clear purpose and yet I always live and write with too many trifles, ornaments that serve no purpose. The crowds have begun to arrive, people I have known for a long time and should be comfortable with, yet am not. I watch, ill at ease and wonder if my central role puts me out or if I simply cannot socialize. I find writing today difficult, as thought the effort to write vows has drained my creativity whilst the rehearsal dinner and the expectations of the guests has drained me of my will. I cannot help but wonder where my enthusiasm has gone.
The enthusiasm has gone to nausea. The Guinness and the rack of lamb did not agree with me as much as I would have likes. Even as I write the world went into a strange little dance.
I am writing now much later with the ill effects gone. The food in Britain, while not fundamentally different, is richer, as though the very soil and its weight of history, sink into the food. The lamb I ate was more fat than meat and difficult to choke down, The Guinness was more like coffee than lager and a single pint was enough.
Wedding Day!!
Day six of our journey.
The day dawned to a spray of rain. Little wind but the skies were gray. Stayed hidden upstairs as the guest arrived. I would only have been in the way downstairs. Became more nervous that I thought I would as the appointed hour approached. Danaide suggested that I picture the gathered crowd naked but there were some very attractive women present…The nervousness faded once the ceremony began, the rain staying back, outside on the lawn. There was a beautiful view down the valley towards Shrewsbury as we exchanged our vows. The ceremony was over faster than expected but the quotations from Kahlil Gibran and Corinthians were very beautiful. Pictures, though seeing to last forever were a welcome opportunity to retreat from the crowds and have an excuse not to mingle. Strange how a wedding is the one real time when a man is expected to cry. I felt no need of tears; the silly smile stretched across my face should have said it all! Parts of the ceremony seemed strange, a mask perhaps to make the scene more perfect than it was. I’m sure Pope Alexander II smiled happily when his daughter was married off. Danaide did shed tears, though not in any sobbing fashion that would justify her many apologies. The winds began to pick up as the night grew old, until a virtual tempest raged outside. Danaide picked up a faithful companion, Rose, who followed her everywhere. I was not included in their group until Rose followed me to the barn to say goodnight and I carried her out of the frightening darkness. All in all today has been the best day of my life.
A day of racing clouds and events. The sky has been grey all day and the clouds have sped across the sky as though pursued. Rehearsal day. One day before the wedding. The clouds begin to mist even as we walk out to begin the rehearsal. Beautiful misty rain that hugs the ground and casts a fine spray in your face, as though you stand on the prow of a ship. But beautiful as rain may be one cannot hold a wedding in it. So we moved inside. Low slung oaken beams and stone wall will most likely frame our marriage as mist from the hills greens the gardens. How the guests will like it I don’t know but for Danaide and I it seems appropriate. The rehearsal went as smoothly as possible I suppose but my place is not in the spotlight. The eyes on me pressure me to be more than I am and make me less than at home. I am disappointed in the vows that I have written, I strive for a Spartan simplicity in my life and in my prose, an elegance that speaks of clean lines and clear purpose and yet I always live and write with too many trifles, ornaments that serve no purpose. The crowds have begun to arrive, people I have known for a long time and should be comfortable with, yet am not. I watch, ill at ease and wonder if my central role puts me out or if I simply cannot socialize. I find writing today difficult, as thought the effort to write vows has drained my creativity whilst the rehearsal dinner and the expectations of the guests has drained me of my will. I cannot help but wonder where my enthusiasm has gone.
The enthusiasm has gone to nausea. The Guinness and the rack of lamb did not agree with me as much as I would have likes. Even as I write the world went into a strange little dance.
I am writing now much later with the ill effects gone. The food in Britain, while not fundamentally different, is richer, as though the very soil and its weight of history, sink into the food. The lamb I ate was more fat than meat and difficult to choke down, The Guinness was more like coffee than lager and a single pint was enough.
Wedding Day!!
Day six of our journey.
The day dawned to a spray of rain. Little wind but the skies were gray. Stayed hidden upstairs as the guest arrived. I would only have been in the way downstairs. Became more nervous that I thought I would as the appointed hour approached. Danaide suggested that I picture the gathered crowd naked but there were some very attractive women present…The nervousness faded once the ceremony began, the rain staying back, outside on the lawn. There was a beautiful view down the valley towards Shrewsbury as we exchanged our vows. The ceremony was over faster than expected but the quotations from Kahlil Gibran and Corinthians were very beautiful. Pictures, though seeing to last forever were a welcome opportunity to retreat from the crowds and have an excuse not to mingle. Strange how a wedding is the one real time when a man is expected to cry. I felt no need of tears; the silly smile stretched across my face should have said it all! Parts of the ceremony seemed strange, a mask perhaps to make the scene more perfect than it was. I’m sure Pope Alexander II smiled happily when his daughter was married off. Danaide did shed tears, though not in any sobbing fashion that would justify her many apologies. The winds began to pick up as the night grew old, until a virtual tempest raged outside. Danaide picked up a faithful companion, Rose, who followed her everywhere. I was not included in their group until Rose followed me to the barn to say goodnight and I carried her out of the frightening darkness. All in all today has been the best day of my life.
I think that was the fastest day in our lives
The wedding day entry got me all misty eyed----good stuff.
[Edited on Apr 17, 2005 11:07AM]