This is the first email that kicked off our honeymoon in August 2001:
Hello, uh, everyone I guess.
So we are here. Finally. What began as an insane germ of an idea more than a year past has grown, been transformed and metamorphosed into an insane reality in the present. It is nearing the end of our first full day on the plains and hillsides of Shrewsbury and we thought it was time to send our first missive out to those waiting breathlessly for word of our exciting adventures.
We began yesterday, or was it the day before, with our departure from the airport. We walked confidently up to the ticket agent to check in for our flight, handed her our ticket and listened incredulously as she announced: "Oh. Sorry, your flight doesn't leave for another two days." the Brave Traveller (my wife), proceeded to remonstrate strongly until the not so bright ticket agent condescended to read the ticket and found to her surprise that the Brave Traveller was correct about our departure date. Three hours later, after trying frantically to spend the last of our Canadian currency (we failed by the way) we boarded our flight and flew off into the wild blue yonder.
Our first stop, beautiful Toronto. Or for those of you who have not expereinced the bathrooms at the Lester B. Pearson International Airport, the worst cesspit this side of... well a reaking cesspit anyway. Do not, DO NOT, plan on using the bathrooms in this airport unless you actually like dysentry. Beyond the horrible bathrooms there was the horrible food, horribly expensive that is. If you don't feel like paying over 20 dollars for your grease and drink, pack some food before going to TO. By-the-way, I will be writing all dollar signs as these silly Brits haven't got one on their keyboards. Oh, sorry to all the silly Brits. (Oops, just found it, $$ must eat crow!!)
Finally, two stupid movies, one mediocre movie, an episode of Seinfeld and one loudly snoring man who enjoyed his flight far more than we, we arrived in Manchester Airport. Much better than Toronto. Our first encounter with British authorities, in the person of a very curious immigrations officer, lasted rather longer than expected. Two slightly out of shape ex-students with bloodshot eyes and deoderant that was running woefuly low do not convincing world class byciclists make. However, after the Brave Traveller, calmly declared that we carried 12,000 in cash on our persons, our friendly officer was kind enough to let this obviously mentally unstable pair into the country where they could avail themselves of the excellent British medical system. One perk of a twenty minute interrogation by immigration, little known to most travellers, is that when you finally get to the baggage carousel all the other! travellers have left and your luggage is immediatly availble. Even our bikes survived the trip intact, thought the Fearful Voyager (me) broke the Brave Travellers this morning so everything is in proper karmic balance.
After our ordeal we overjoyed to see The Congenial Host, waiting, thought he was less happy to see us. Actually not us so much as our two enormous bike boxes, each looking somewhat larger than a house. However The Congenial Host, calmly prevailled and the boxes were loaded into his somewhat smaller than neccesary car, the grey Manchester rain only a slight hindrance. The Fearful Traveller, sat in the back, with the bikes and and found that you could in fact sleep anywhere if neccesary. The Brave Traveller...well whom knows what she was doing I was asleep! The Congenial Host, does report that she was more than a little incoherent and her ideas on how to revamp the British tax system while reforming the House of Lords were more than a little insane, let alone her solution to Hoof and Mouth Disease. She of course claims that she did pretty well. The speed with which The Ample Provider sent the pair of travellers off to bed tells another tale.
We woke bright and early this morning, 2 am or so, and rose to meet the day. Well actually one of us rose, the other glared fitfully at the first and returned to bed. However, by noon this morning all were awake and greeted the newly arrived parents of the Fearful traveller, who had actually been there since the night before but graciously allowed their progeny to sleep.
Afer being fed and watered this morning we were soon put to work in th Ample Providers garden, I mowed, the Brave traveller planted and my father, the Golden Crowned, did some strange thing with a pitch fork. I also discovered the dog, Jake of Two Different Coloured Eyes and the Funny Limp. I spent a large portion of the day trying to decided wether he was insane, about as intelligent as our ticket agent or about to start a new race of sentient dogs. He is capable chasing after a stick that has been thrown over a fence, running out to the main road, down a country lane and into the neighbours yard. But his behaviour when confronted with a mowing lawnmower defies explanation. Jake, of Two Different Eyes and the Funny Limp, will attack any lawn mower that is moving forward, but only on the front wheels and only if the mower is moving foward, if the mower is retreating he will follow but not attack, if it is stopped he will leave, only to hurtle towards the mower once it moves foraward again. What really confounds the mind however is his practice of pulling up grass and placing it hopefully before the mower once the mowing has stopped. Is this random behaviour or an eager vegetal sacrifice before the great god of hewn grass?
However, such speculations aside, we split up and travelled our merry little ways throughout the British country side. I to find a replacement part for the Brave Traveller's bike, which I so kindly broke, the Brave Traveller to find flowers for the on rushing big day. My adament demands that the skydiving Elvis's be included in the cermony were, once again, staunchly ignored. The B.T. did however make arrangements to have the entire ceremony filmed so that comments of the suitablity of Elvisi for the program could be voiced by everyone.
Today being that great international holiday, Wednesday, we found that all the shops we desperatly needed today were closed while those filled with silly expensive things that silly tourists (such as we) love to buy. However we did find that two loaves of bread and two drinks are cheaper than a watch battery in the village of Ludlow, don't ask why we just did! From Ludlow we returned with breakneck speed to the wrong side on England and after a brief checking of the map, back to the Parkgate farmhouse.
The Brave Traveller embarked on a shopping frenzy with the Ample Provider. They searched high and low, thought not in between, for a guestbook, since the Brave Traveller had left hers behind to conserve weight. The Brave Traveller also discovered her new ability to over pay every shop clerk in the greater Shrewsbury area (Is there in fact such a thing?) She was also much inpressed by the aisles of alcohol in the local supermarket (The lush!!). The Brave Traveller expects her family members to arrive sometime tomorrow. Calling them this morning at 6am was not, however, the best way to ensure amiablity when they arrive.
Looking back on the day I see that have babbled enourmously and should end this brief note now, as nothing else happened in the day anyway. I will leave you with a promise to write again when I want to and, perhaps, share more moving stories of Jake of Two Different Coloured Eyes and A funny Limp, and perhaps The Fearful and the Brave.
Thank you and goodnight
Hello, uh, everyone I guess.
So we are here. Finally. What began as an insane germ of an idea more than a year past has grown, been transformed and metamorphosed into an insane reality in the present. It is nearing the end of our first full day on the plains and hillsides of Shrewsbury and we thought it was time to send our first missive out to those waiting breathlessly for word of our exciting adventures.
We began yesterday, or was it the day before, with our departure from the airport. We walked confidently up to the ticket agent to check in for our flight, handed her our ticket and listened incredulously as she announced: "Oh. Sorry, your flight doesn't leave for another two days." the Brave Traveller (my wife), proceeded to remonstrate strongly until the not so bright ticket agent condescended to read the ticket and found to her surprise that the Brave Traveller was correct about our departure date. Three hours later, after trying frantically to spend the last of our Canadian currency (we failed by the way) we boarded our flight and flew off into the wild blue yonder.
Our first stop, beautiful Toronto. Or for those of you who have not expereinced the bathrooms at the Lester B. Pearson International Airport, the worst cesspit this side of... well a reaking cesspit anyway. Do not, DO NOT, plan on using the bathrooms in this airport unless you actually like dysentry. Beyond the horrible bathrooms there was the horrible food, horribly expensive that is. If you don't feel like paying over 20 dollars for your grease and drink, pack some food before going to TO. By-the-way, I will be writing all dollar signs as these silly Brits haven't got one on their keyboards. Oh, sorry to all the silly Brits. (Oops, just found it, $$ must eat crow!!)
Finally, two stupid movies, one mediocre movie, an episode of Seinfeld and one loudly snoring man who enjoyed his flight far more than we, we arrived in Manchester Airport. Much better than Toronto. Our first encounter with British authorities, in the person of a very curious immigrations officer, lasted rather longer than expected. Two slightly out of shape ex-students with bloodshot eyes and deoderant that was running woefuly low do not convincing world class byciclists make. However, after the Brave Traveller, calmly declared that we carried 12,000 in cash on our persons, our friendly officer was kind enough to let this obviously mentally unstable pair into the country where they could avail themselves of the excellent British medical system. One perk of a twenty minute interrogation by immigration, little known to most travellers, is that when you finally get to the baggage carousel all the other! travellers have left and your luggage is immediatly availble. Even our bikes survived the trip intact, thought the Fearful Voyager (me) broke the Brave Travellers this morning so everything is in proper karmic balance.
After our ordeal we overjoyed to see The Congenial Host, waiting, thought he was less happy to see us. Actually not us so much as our two enormous bike boxes, each looking somewhat larger than a house. However The Congenial Host, calmly prevailled and the boxes were loaded into his somewhat smaller than neccesary car, the grey Manchester rain only a slight hindrance. The Fearful Traveller, sat in the back, with the bikes and and found that you could in fact sleep anywhere if neccesary. The Brave Traveller...well whom knows what she was doing I was asleep! The Congenial Host, does report that she was more than a little incoherent and her ideas on how to revamp the British tax system while reforming the House of Lords were more than a little insane, let alone her solution to Hoof and Mouth Disease. She of course claims that she did pretty well. The speed with which The Ample Provider sent the pair of travellers off to bed tells another tale.
We woke bright and early this morning, 2 am or so, and rose to meet the day. Well actually one of us rose, the other glared fitfully at the first and returned to bed. However, by noon this morning all were awake and greeted the newly arrived parents of the Fearful traveller, who had actually been there since the night before but graciously allowed their progeny to sleep.
Afer being fed and watered this morning we were soon put to work in th Ample Providers garden, I mowed, the Brave traveller planted and my father, the Golden Crowned, did some strange thing with a pitch fork. I also discovered the dog, Jake of Two Different Coloured Eyes and the Funny Limp. I spent a large portion of the day trying to decided wether he was insane, about as intelligent as our ticket agent or about to start a new race of sentient dogs. He is capable chasing after a stick that has been thrown over a fence, running out to the main road, down a country lane and into the neighbours yard. But his behaviour when confronted with a mowing lawnmower defies explanation. Jake, of Two Different Eyes and the Funny Limp, will attack any lawn mower that is moving forward, but only on the front wheels and only if the mower is moving foward, if the mower is retreating he will follow but not attack, if it is stopped he will leave, only to hurtle towards the mower once it moves foraward again. What really confounds the mind however is his practice of pulling up grass and placing it hopefully before the mower once the mowing has stopped. Is this random behaviour or an eager vegetal sacrifice before the great god of hewn grass?
However, such speculations aside, we split up and travelled our merry little ways throughout the British country side. I to find a replacement part for the Brave Traveller's bike, which I so kindly broke, the Brave Traveller to find flowers for the on rushing big day. My adament demands that the skydiving Elvis's be included in the cermony were, once again, staunchly ignored. The B.T. did however make arrangements to have the entire ceremony filmed so that comments of the suitablity of Elvisi for the program could be voiced by everyone.
Today being that great international holiday, Wednesday, we found that all the shops we desperatly needed today were closed while those filled with silly expensive things that silly tourists (such as we) love to buy. However we did find that two loaves of bread and two drinks are cheaper than a watch battery in the village of Ludlow, don't ask why we just did! From Ludlow we returned with breakneck speed to the wrong side on England and after a brief checking of the map, back to the Parkgate farmhouse.
The Brave Traveller embarked on a shopping frenzy with the Ample Provider. They searched high and low, thought not in between, for a guestbook, since the Brave Traveller had left hers behind to conserve weight. The Brave Traveller also discovered her new ability to over pay every shop clerk in the greater Shrewsbury area (Is there in fact such a thing?) She was also much inpressed by the aisles of alcohol in the local supermarket (The lush!!). The Brave Traveller expects her family members to arrive sometime tomorrow. Calling them this morning at 6am was not, however, the best way to ensure amiablity when they arrive.
Looking back on the day I see that have babbled enourmously and should end this brief note now, as nothing else happened in the day anyway. I will leave you with a promise to write again when I want to and, perhaps, share more moving stories of Jake of Two Different Coloured Eyes and A funny Limp, and perhaps The Fearful and the Brave.
Thank you and goodnight