andtherobots

there

I find that my goals of renouncing my current surroundings and drifting to a place vast with culture and ocean air are somewhat deteriorating I am very concerned with this. I have all the motivation in the world to float on, but financial woes are a hurdle proving more and more unatainable. I find this habit of thinking to be my main area of concern for if I weren't in this train of thought I may have already been gone. I may have finished certain things, or started others.
Of course this dwelling will only prolong my uncertain existence. Dwelling is a main contender in my, I don't want to say depression because I have no desire to die. I have no fear of the future. QUite the contray. I am very optimistic about my future, but I am in a rut. So in efforts to change my thought process, and let's call them, "spirit destroyers"(habits). I have made attempts to foil they're means for taking me over. I have done this with music, books, movies, and of course the main reason for keepin' on, dreams. Now the former three of this list may be contributing to my financial troubles. In fact they are almost the direct cause of them, given my inherrent need to buy things. Materialize if you will? But dreaming is the only thing that keeps me going. Dreaming is the exact thing that seperates us from the animals. Dreaming is what seperates people from "real" people. If that makes any sense?


I could go on listing the symptoms of my uncertainty for hours, but as I said dwelling is the culprit. A constant disection of these issues are only a means to my demise. So I am now off to listen to RADIOhead, and make some plans for the future.
I am at a turning point in my life. One everyone my senior has gone through, and one everyone else will go through as well. I guess this is just my version of it.

thanks for reading....