I believe my room mates officially think I'm crazy. After deciding I need a new guy and seeing Powder on Saturday, I felt determined once again to get myself to the gym to curb my steady decline into fatness. But I knew I needed help and it is always helpful to me to put up reminders to myself, so Sunday afternoon I sat down and tore up every magazine I own in search of pictures of skinny girls. After collecting over a hundred clippings, I put them up on my wall. Next, I wrote notes to myself reminding me why I want to stay thin. I wrote down even the most despicable reasons I could think of on big pieces of paper and put them up on the inside of my closet door, thinking I would remind myself to close it when my roomies came in so they wouldn't see it. But last night they came to look at something on my computer and I realized that the door was open. I tried to blow it off and pretend it wasn't there...I thought maybe they wouldn't see it...but I could feel them looking at my shallow scribblings and reacting so I said, "Yeah, I know I'm crazy." D. came back with, "I've been there before...it was called an eating disorder!" For the sake of Peter! I do not have an eating disorder! I'm really trying to do something healty for myself. But they're probably all concerned about my mental state. Well, you know what? I think this method WILL work, precisely because they think I'm nuts. Now I have to prove that there is a purpose to my madness. I'm just glad I didn't put anything up on my wall that said something like: "I never want to get as fat as D., and I want to be skinnier than R." Wow. That would have made my life hell. 