Over the past decade or so Lisa Crystal Carver has made an industry out of Drugs Are Nice with an album, a DVD and now a book subtitled A Post-Punk Memoir.
The book now out from Soft Skull Press chronicles Carvers life in the band Suckdog, her major problems with her family and of course, lots and lots of drugs.
Buy Drugs Are Nice: A Post-Punk Memoir
Daniel Robert Epstein: Whats going on today?
Lisa Crystal Carver: Im running around crazy trying to get everything together before going on the book tour.
DRE: Are you psyched?
LCC: Yes, I am. Im psyched and Im crazy [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] Do you know what parts youre reading and all that?
LCC: Im not going to do book readings. Were going to bring the book to life.
DRE: What does that mean, are you going to sing?
LCC: Oh no, nobody wants that. Im going to have people from the audience act out scenes from the book.
DRE: The very first time I heard of you was when you got namedropped in Peter Bagges Hate.
LCC: Thats what a lot of people tell me.
DRE: What makes you keep using the title Drugs Are Nice?
LCC: Its like Kiss, when you find something you like just keep on doing it [laughs].I have an album, a DVD and a book all with the same name. Its a good name.
DRE: How long did it take you to write the book?
LCC: I think it took two years. The first year I was writing a different book and then all of a sudden it turned into this book.
DRE: What was the different book?
LCC: It was autobiographical as well but I was trying to make it fiction because I was afraid of being sued. So I was trying to write a novel but Im just a crappy fiction writer then I just figured What the heck, if they sue me Ill probably just make more money so Ill be able to pay the lawyers [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] Who were you worried about suing you?
LCC: Every single person in the book [laughs].
DRE: Do you still keep in contact with a lot of people?
LCC: The ones who will still talk to me.
DRE: What are they mad about?
LCC: Well most of the people in the book are my ex-boyfriends. I wasnt talking to my Dad because hes kind of like an ex-boyfriend. The only one who still talks to me is my ex-husband.
DRE: Is he happy about the book?
LCC: Hes really happy. He loves me.
DRE: Was writing the book cathartic?
LCC: Yeah I did feel like I dont have to think about it ever again. It gives me a lot of time to think about other stuff.
DRE: This is some heavy stuff. Was any of it difficult to write?
LCC: Yes, with the abortion chapter I had to drink every day to be able to slog through it. I developed a habit for that month. Even though it was only like a thousand words.
DRE: Whatd you pick to dull the pain?
LCC: Jack and Coke.
DRE: Thats pretty much my drink too.
LCC: Oh youre a good man. You know, you can really tell a lot about a person whether they like Jim or Jack.
DRE: I switched to Makers Mark, but a lot of bars dont have it.
LCC: Makers Mark? Thats your drink now?
DRE: Thats good whiskey. But Jack is good too.
LCC: Jack is really good. Lets not get into an argument here. [laughs]
DRE: What did your publishers say about the legal aspect?
LCC: Theyre really cool. They basically said, Well if anything happens, it happens. Dont worry about it [laughs]
DRE: What are you going to do now that youve written down your whole life?
LCC: Now that I dont have to think about this stuff anymore. I can have a whole new life [laughs].
DRE: Were you unhappy before?
LCC: No, Ive never been unhappy. I used to be really antsy all the time. So I feel less antsy.
DRE: Did you know that many of the things you did in your life were new?
LCC: Yeah, Ive never seen anything like it. A lot of people like to say that I was acting out a traumatic childhood and I got to say, Yeah, why not. Except this time I was in charge of it. I was actually writing it and giving myself the rape scenes and stuff. Ive had five shrinks and I think that the stage shows accomplished more than all five of them put together.
DRE: What does your family think of the book?
LCC: My mom is dead. My stepmother doesnt care about anything, she loves it. My father is already not speaking to me and he hates the government and the system so much I cant even imagine him going to court over it. But if he did, I wouldnt care because I can prove everything [laughs].
DRE: How can you prove those things?
LCC: Well I didnt actually write anything libelous. But the only thing my father never got caught at was killing people and I never said that he actually killed people. I said that he told me he had killed people.
DRE: Is this the kind of thing where you wouldnt change one thing about your life?
LCC: I went to a wedding the other day of this really nice girl who babysat my son. It was a very traditional wedding and it was very beautiful and she was very beautiful. I felt kind of lonely, but in a different way because I realized that I have never had any tradition or anything normal in my life. She was surrounded by tradition and it bolstered her. Ive always made my own way and then I saw somebody who was just going with the flow it looked really attractive and nice. For the first time I felt that my life was hard. But I knew I wouldnt be able to be her. I would go crazy and murder my husband on the first night. It just doesnt fit my temperament so I guess the answer is yes, Im happy with my life.
DRE: Normal people suck.
LCC: I dont think they suck. Theyre fine, theres nothing wrong with them, as long as they dont think somethings wrong with me [laughs].
DRE: Do you mix much with them?
LCC: I do in the guise of being a parent. I try to appear normal if I go to a meeting about one of my kids at school or at the doctors office.
DRE: How old are your kids now?
LCC: I have an 11 year old son and a three year old daughter.
DRE: Your 11 year old son is getting to the point where he could start asking questions about you.
LCC: No because hes kind of crazy.
DRE: Really?
LCC: Literally he is so hes not going to go on the internet and search for these things. Hes really in his own world. Hes been diagnosed with all kinds of schizophrenia.
DRE: Oh my God.
LCC: Yeah so Im not too concerned that hes going to be embarrassed because hes so far into his own world. The other day he was really worried about the fact that the universe will end. Then he was talking about whats underneath cyberspace and talking about the unknown floor. Those are the kind of things he thinks about, not what his mother was up to in 1992 [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] You seem ok with that
LCC: I adore him and Im happy for him. Hes got a good world.
DRE: What kind of fan email do you get?
LCC: Ive always gotten a lot of lonely girls who say that they now =can really start their life. Which Im really happy about because that exactly what I want. They know its not just them. When I was young I used get all these dirty old men. Now that Im 36 I get all these dirty young men.
DRE: Hows your sex life?
LCC: Its really good. I would really want to encourage anybody whos 20 to not worry about getting older [laughs].
DRE: Was your husband a fan of yours before you met?
LCC: Kind of, yeah.
DRE: Whats that like?
LCC: I think its a good way to meet people.
DRE: Become somewhat famous?
LCC: Yeah. Ive always stalked somebody or been stalked. I have never really met people the normal way.
DRE: So he stalked you?
LCC: Actually I ended up stalking him. He had read my stuff and he liked me but he was already involved with two women. So I had to do some stalking.
DRE: What do you think of SuicideGirls?
LCC: Ive always been very attracted to it. I like girls and I like suicide [laughs].
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
The book now out from Soft Skull Press chronicles Carvers life in the band Suckdog, her major problems with her family and of course, lots and lots of drugs.
Buy Drugs Are Nice: A Post-Punk Memoir
Daniel Robert Epstein: Whats going on today?
Lisa Crystal Carver: Im running around crazy trying to get everything together before going on the book tour.
DRE: Are you psyched?
LCC: Yes, I am. Im psyched and Im crazy [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] Do you know what parts youre reading and all that?
LCC: Im not going to do book readings. Were going to bring the book to life.
DRE: What does that mean, are you going to sing?
LCC: Oh no, nobody wants that. Im going to have people from the audience act out scenes from the book.
DRE: The very first time I heard of you was when you got namedropped in Peter Bagges Hate.
LCC: Thats what a lot of people tell me.
DRE: What makes you keep using the title Drugs Are Nice?
LCC: Its like Kiss, when you find something you like just keep on doing it [laughs].I have an album, a DVD and a book all with the same name. Its a good name.
DRE: How long did it take you to write the book?
LCC: I think it took two years. The first year I was writing a different book and then all of a sudden it turned into this book.
DRE: What was the different book?
LCC: It was autobiographical as well but I was trying to make it fiction because I was afraid of being sued. So I was trying to write a novel but Im just a crappy fiction writer then I just figured What the heck, if they sue me Ill probably just make more money so Ill be able to pay the lawyers [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] Who were you worried about suing you?
LCC: Every single person in the book [laughs].
DRE: Do you still keep in contact with a lot of people?
LCC: The ones who will still talk to me.
DRE: What are they mad about?
LCC: Well most of the people in the book are my ex-boyfriends. I wasnt talking to my Dad because hes kind of like an ex-boyfriend. The only one who still talks to me is my ex-husband.
DRE: Is he happy about the book?
LCC: Hes really happy. He loves me.
DRE: Was writing the book cathartic?
LCC: Yeah I did feel like I dont have to think about it ever again. It gives me a lot of time to think about other stuff.
DRE: This is some heavy stuff. Was any of it difficult to write?
LCC: Yes, with the abortion chapter I had to drink every day to be able to slog through it. I developed a habit for that month. Even though it was only like a thousand words.
DRE: Whatd you pick to dull the pain?
LCC: Jack and Coke.
DRE: Thats pretty much my drink too.
LCC: Oh youre a good man. You know, you can really tell a lot about a person whether they like Jim or Jack.
DRE: I switched to Makers Mark, but a lot of bars dont have it.
LCC: Makers Mark? Thats your drink now?
DRE: Thats good whiskey. But Jack is good too.
LCC: Jack is really good. Lets not get into an argument here. [laughs]
DRE: What did your publishers say about the legal aspect?
LCC: Theyre really cool. They basically said, Well if anything happens, it happens. Dont worry about it [laughs]
DRE: What are you going to do now that youve written down your whole life?
LCC: Now that I dont have to think about this stuff anymore. I can have a whole new life [laughs].
DRE: Were you unhappy before?
LCC: No, Ive never been unhappy. I used to be really antsy all the time. So I feel less antsy.
DRE: Did you know that many of the things you did in your life were new?
LCC: Yeah, Ive never seen anything like it. A lot of people like to say that I was acting out a traumatic childhood and I got to say, Yeah, why not. Except this time I was in charge of it. I was actually writing it and giving myself the rape scenes and stuff. Ive had five shrinks and I think that the stage shows accomplished more than all five of them put together.
DRE: What does your family think of the book?
LCC: My mom is dead. My stepmother doesnt care about anything, she loves it. My father is already not speaking to me and he hates the government and the system so much I cant even imagine him going to court over it. But if he did, I wouldnt care because I can prove everything [laughs].
DRE: How can you prove those things?
LCC: Well I didnt actually write anything libelous. But the only thing my father never got caught at was killing people and I never said that he actually killed people. I said that he told me he had killed people.
DRE: Is this the kind of thing where you wouldnt change one thing about your life?
LCC: I went to a wedding the other day of this really nice girl who babysat my son. It was a very traditional wedding and it was very beautiful and she was very beautiful. I felt kind of lonely, but in a different way because I realized that I have never had any tradition or anything normal in my life. She was surrounded by tradition and it bolstered her. Ive always made my own way and then I saw somebody who was just going with the flow it looked really attractive and nice. For the first time I felt that my life was hard. But I knew I wouldnt be able to be her. I would go crazy and murder my husband on the first night. It just doesnt fit my temperament so I guess the answer is yes, Im happy with my life.
DRE: Normal people suck.
LCC: I dont think they suck. Theyre fine, theres nothing wrong with them, as long as they dont think somethings wrong with me [laughs].
DRE: Do you mix much with them?
LCC: I do in the guise of being a parent. I try to appear normal if I go to a meeting about one of my kids at school or at the doctors office.
DRE: How old are your kids now?
LCC: I have an 11 year old son and a three year old daughter.
DRE: Your 11 year old son is getting to the point where he could start asking questions about you.
LCC: No because hes kind of crazy.
DRE: Really?
LCC: Literally he is so hes not going to go on the internet and search for these things. Hes really in his own world. Hes been diagnosed with all kinds of schizophrenia.
DRE: Oh my God.
LCC: Yeah so Im not too concerned that hes going to be embarrassed because hes so far into his own world. The other day he was really worried about the fact that the universe will end. Then he was talking about whats underneath cyberspace and talking about the unknown floor. Those are the kind of things he thinks about, not what his mother was up to in 1992 [laughs].
DRE: [laughs] You seem ok with that
LCC: I adore him and Im happy for him. Hes got a good world.
DRE: What kind of fan email do you get?
LCC: Ive always gotten a lot of lonely girls who say that they now =can really start their life. Which Im really happy about because that exactly what I want. They know its not just them. When I was young I used get all these dirty old men. Now that Im 36 I get all these dirty young men.
DRE: Hows your sex life?
LCC: Its really good. I would really want to encourage anybody whos 20 to not worry about getting older [laughs].
DRE: Was your husband a fan of yours before you met?
LCC: Kind of, yeah.
DRE: Whats that like?
LCC: I think its a good way to meet people.
DRE: Become somewhat famous?
LCC: Yeah. Ive always stalked somebody or been stalked. I have never really met people the normal way.
DRE: So he stalked you?
LCC: Actually I ended up stalking him. He had read my stuff and he liked me but he was already involved with two women. So I had to do some stalking.
DRE: What do you think of SuicideGirls?
LCC: Ive always been very attracted to it. I like girls and I like suicide [laughs].
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Lisa was not kidding about the tour; people performed parts of the book (her life story). At the show I went to, it was the scene where she cuts herself in Costes's Paris apartment. The blood special-effects were provided by Heinz; I've never been in a room that just REEKED of ketchup before. I believe Darcy played the spirit of death, or a ghost, or something. The guy playing Costes had a superb French accent.