Fuck, is it Thursday already!?
I've had a satisfyingly busy week actually. Business has picked up, so I might have gone out and blown some money on clothes (I hate clothes shopping, but do give a fuck about what I wear so that's always a dilema). I'm slowly getting the ball rolling again work wise, and feeling a bit more like I have a purpose in life beyond struggling to pay the mortgage.
I am in love with the weather at the moment. Yes it's fucking freezing, but it's bright and clear skied. I'm getting beautiful sunsets as a result. Perhaps I'll get the old tripod out and try and capture one this evening for you all. My flat is a loft conversion of an old Edwardian house, and is a story higher than all the buildings in front of me. West facing = fantastic light in the late afternoon/ evenings.
Xmas is coming. Once again we're bombarded with commercial bollocks which, for me, spoils the whole thing. It's bloody autumn still: ok, barely, but it still is. Xmas is a winter festival. Stop showing me snow and reindeer on TV, it isn't going to make me buy any of your shit! I hate cynical capitalising on genuine emotion.
I miss being more political...
Actually that's another one of the things which I dislike about not having a significant other. Ok, the main thing is that I like sharing my day with someone who actually gives a shit beyond "oh that sounds interesting". But I work quite allot, and don't have as much time as I'd like to broaden my own horizons. It's nice to have someone hanging around who's going to drag you to stuff they think is important or interesting, or discuss the sorts of things you don't spent large amounts of time thinking or caring about yourself.
Mostly though I miss having a warm body in my bed when I wake up, and someone to curl up with and share a bottle of wine and a DVD. Oh, and someone to cook for. Having said that, my last significant other wasn't really that satisfying to cook for. Her mother was a terrible cook, but she was the only person who didn't know it. My ex, therefore, poked suspiciously at much which was offered up, and had grown up in a family where gratitude for being cooked for was a forced rather than natural thing.
Anyway, I'm rambling because I don't really have allot to say. This time of year can go either way for me, I can get properly despondent (I'm not a very depressive person, I just get the melancholic fog) or I love it completely. At the moment I think I'm teetering.
I'll update a bit quicker this time around, with something more interesting Love to you all!
EDIT: Here we go. They never look as good as real life though:
I've had a satisfyingly busy week actually. Business has picked up, so I might have gone out and blown some money on clothes (I hate clothes shopping, but do give a fuck about what I wear so that's always a dilema). I'm slowly getting the ball rolling again work wise, and feeling a bit more like I have a purpose in life beyond struggling to pay the mortgage.
I am in love with the weather at the moment. Yes it's fucking freezing, but it's bright and clear skied. I'm getting beautiful sunsets as a result. Perhaps I'll get the old tripod out and try and capture one this evening for you all. My flat is a loft conversion of an old Edwardian house, and is a story higher than all the buildings in front of me. West facing = fantastic light in the late afternoon/ evenings.
Xmas is coming. Once again we're bombarded with commercial bollocks which, for me, spoils the whole thing. It's bloody autumn still: ok, barely, but it still is. Xmas is a winter festival. Stop showing me snow and reindeer on TV, it isn't going to make me buy any of your shit! I hate cynical capitalising on genuine emotion.
I miss being more political...
Actually that's another one of the things which I dislike about not having a significant other. Ok, the main thing is that I like sharing my day with someone who actually gives a shit beyond "oh that sounds interesting". But I work quite allot, and don't have as much time as I'd like to broaden my own horizons. It's nice to have someone hanging around who's going to drag you to stuff they think is important or interesting, or discuss the sorts of things you don't spent large amounts of time thinking or caring about yourself.
Mostly though I miss having a warm body in my bed when I wake up, and someone to curl up with and share a bottle of wine and a DVD. Oh, and someone to cook for. Having said that, my last significant other wasn't really that satisfying to cook for. Her mother was a terrible cook, but she was the only person who didn't know it. My ex, therefore, poked suspiciously at much which was offered up, and had grown up in a family where gratitude for being cooked for was a forced rather than natural thing.
Anyway, I'm rambling because I don't really have allot to say. This time of year can go either way for me, I can get properly despondent (I'm not a very depressive person, I just get the melancholic fog) or I love it completely. At the moment I think I'm teetering.
I'll update a bit quicker this time around, with something more interesting Love to you all!
EDIT: Here we go. They never look as good as real life though:
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
That's it now J, I've done it and this time I know it's final. I feel sick, I could scream and I don't think I'll ever stop crying, but give me a minute and I may just be ok!
Fucking hell..............
Hopefully speak to you tomorrow chicken.
Hope you had a lush weekend.
Big hugs and kisses to you.
xx
I then spoke to a friend of mine today, at length. I realised a few things today which I had no idea about before, and so it's been a funny old day really and I've had a few things that I had to do today.
I'm still all over the place with him and my family and work and everything else, but I'm trying to be more positive and not beat myself up quite so much. I'm seeing my friend again on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it.
The boy goes on holiday tomorrow and good or bad, I'm looking forward to it and dreading it all at once. It's going to be a challenging week but one I feel a little bit more ready for.
I'm out in the cab again tonight, so I won't get a chance to blog but I will try and do one tomorrow maybe.
I hope you're ok darling, you certainly sound busy! I hope this message finds you well and happy and I send you a small kiss on the cheek and a bloody big bear hug