analith

It's not that really nice aqua blue from before I went to Greece. This photo doesn't do too much justice, but... you get the idea.

299,792,458 metres per second: This is the speed of light. It might seem a little bit odd for someone like me to get a tattoo of the speed of light, but here is the reasoning behind it:
I'd like to get it running up the inside side of my forearm, so that whenever something happens that I feel shitty about, or embaressed about, or I step away from a situation in which I know I should just put it all up there, I can look down at the speed of light to remind me that the Universe is a huge and expanding rapidly and really every tiny little thing that I do won't really affect the world. This is a little bit about my last entry as well

I wish I could figure out or understand what this is. Is the love only simple familiarality - I have been here so many times before and probably will be again. I have slept beside you weekly for these past months and still I am no closer to understanding, knowing, thinking clearly. Anything - I need anything - Some form of... something. I can't explain.
I am selfish, and selfishly I want you. Selfishly I only ever write about myself when I write about you, about the tingle up my spine when I am ignoring you but I can feel you watching me.
I ignore you a lot these days. It has become my secret weapon - ignoring you. The thrill when it is you who seeks me out and not the other way around. The small, knowing glanses up at you. The half-smile, quickly looking away, giggling, laughing. I imagine, though wrongly I am sure, that you wonder if there ever was such a look...
I just... I just need you to know...

Infact, a very very fucked up weekend, but I'm not going to say anything - but this: no one should ever have to watch anyone else get fisted, even if they are getting paid for it.