Well, here it is, the whole uncut, unabridged, unflattering story:
**note: I recommend listening to A little doubt goes a long way by Reel Big Fish while reading this story**
SPOILERS! (Click to view)It is actually because of Suicide Girls that I originally met Emo-fringe. True story. It was the Wednesday after the first Burlesque show in Melbourne, and I wore my SG t-shirt to the pub, and met this guy who had also been at the Burlesque show, and we started talking at first just about the show and then, other things as well. At the end of the night, Manning and I were outside the pub, waiting for the crowd to fuck-off so we could get in a cab, and this guy came out, with his friend, Emo-fringe, who I - in my drunken state - teased about having an emo-fringe. We talked for a while, and that progressed into drunken pashing - but that was about it. I got in a cab, and he went home - no numbers or anything.
The next week, I went with my friend from N.Z who was there - Emo-fringe and I talked a lot, but that was about it.
I didnt go the next week, and he didnt go the week after that.
The week after that, I wore a dress to the pub, and that was the first week that Laura came, but Manning didnt. And some guy from Tassie, who Laura met in Florence last year. We hung out pretty much all night with Emo-fringe and SG Boy from the first week (who, totally unrelated, has the same tattooist as I do.) Anyway at the end of the night, Laura asked Emo-fringe if he wanted to come out for breakfast with us, and there was lost of back and forth, about should I-shouldnt I, and SG-Boy was telling him that he should not come back to my place, but he did, and that was that. Cut to the most amazing sex of my whole life...
The next day, the four of us went out for breakfast and then to the zoo, randomly, which rules.
The next week, Laura didnt come to the pub, for some reason - and I ended up staying at Emo-fringes house, after he had the Look, Im kind of seeing someone talk, but, NOW SG-Boy is telling me to come back with them - where he had been saying no before, he was now fully on my side and badgering me into coming home with them.
The next week, Laura and I both went back with them, but we went home. Thats when the kind of seeing someone turned into the full-blown girlfriend. I mention the girlfriend and make Emo-fringe bleed. Laura bonds with Emo-fringes dog. The sex is getting better and better. I get the No, I really didnt think this would happen comment, to which I reply, Yeah fucking right. He says, Ill stop when she says I love you, I laugh.
Last week, SG-Boy didnt go to the pub, but Emo-fringe was there with someone else, which makes me think of the time that Manning went away at the start of last year and I would rope anyone possible into going to the pub. He comes back to my house, because I stupidly promise that I will get up a 6 AM to drive him home for work. Idiot. We get to the nice, loving, gentle (but still amazingly good and getting better) sex. Its the first time he doesnt end up with scratch marks. Its amazing. We talk about the frequency of the whole thing. Nothing is said about the girlfriend. He needs a haircut, we talk about me painting his drum kit.
I had a shit weekend, his nickname at work is Hot Sex (tell me you wouldnt love to find out that your nickname was Hot Sex) to everyone else he is Emo-fringe I start having dreams about meeting his girlfriend (and Will Ferrel being Jesus). I am on-and-off feeling guilty or feeling guilty about not feeling guilty. I spend time running though senarios in my mind about -what if I know the girlfriend, what if its someones little sister. I talk to my friend Luc about it, while the drunk woman at the next table talks to her friend about just finding out her boyfriend is cheating on her. This makes me feel shitty.
Hes had this girlfriend for 5 weeks now. We lay in bed and talk about me going away, he says What am I going to do without you for a whole month? and Who am I going to take home from the pub???
I go from being totally in love with him to hating him. I go from feeling guilty to not feeling any guilt at all. Ive been cheated on. Ive never cheated on anyone. I both love and hate being the other woman...
I cant reconcile anything in my mind.