analies

WARNING: VENTING BLOG POST

I am so extremely uncontent that I cannot focus on anything. Not work, not coaching. But yet I am so busy with both it leaves little time for anything else.

I don't hate my job but I am just sick of it. I just need a break. I need time to get myself together.

Mentally and physically.

Ever since i had surgery on my knee it has been fucked. I just want to cry. I play coed soccer on the weekends but it hurts my knee and then my knee is aggravated all week while i am coaching. I have to get to a physical therapist to see what i can do. I feel like i need to strengthen it but i dont want to hurt it worse. But who has money for that! and i dont have time to work out since i am so busy.

all i have the energy for after all my responsibility are done for the day at about 9pm is to drink.

i told my self i need to slow down on drinking so much, but if i dont drink then i am left alone with my thoughts and just get depressed at how unsatisfying life is.

I am so bored of routine!

i wish i at least had better friends, I have some cool ones but no one im real close to.

I really would like a girlfriend. At least that would give me something to look forward to after a long day of work and give me a partner to do stuff with.

also my town is soooooo lame. I miss making music with friends and doing shows, and going to shows, and going to different parties and events like i use to in Illinois. And i miss interesting people. everyone here is so boring and normal.

fuck man, i need to relocate again.

I need constant change and a new knee damnit.