anais

I woke up Friday morning shaking and trying to remember the nights events and when all actions and words took on a life of their own. I struggled through my day work and rested until I had no choice but to go back to the bar and begin my night shift. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone, especially those I had seen the night before. As I began apologizing to people I noticed similarites in their responses. 'What? You were fine last night' or 'We were all drunk, you didn't even seem that drunk to me' and by the end of the night I realized how ones own perception of themselves distorts reality. I was relieved and completely confused. That's why I hate getting drunk. I open up to people, run around in a social frenzy, and wake up the next day more closed and anxious than I was before. At least I'm the only one who sees how alcohal affects my actions. I prefer hiding but I suppose it's not that horrible to open up and let people in every so often. For now it is time for me to take a break from the wine.
*Anais