anadiktion

Hello to all of my adoring fans! I hope you are having a fabulous Saturday morning!

I've been up since 8, which is very early on a saturday for me! and of course now I'm working -- at least its from home -- i'll be working 12+ hour days for the next month i guess....there's alot of crap going on and it looks like i've got to bust ass to help save my friends job... but if she leaves i will def leave...considering i only took this job to help out her career while i try to figure out mine...

in other news.... for whatever reason i started thinking about Paula in the shower this morning (not like that perv's) ...i met paula a few years ago and instead of showing her how much i cared for her, maybe even loved her.... i ended up hurting her more than...
1-I've ever hurt another person...i think
2-She'd ever been hurt before...i'm certain
3-She deserved to be hurt.... ugh!
i then spent the next 3 years with her ex-husband --OUCH! which ended up not working either...so what was it all for? the pain i mean....sux b/c now she dreams of my painful, grueling death... (that i might deserve) and i think of her often wishing i could tell her how sorry i am for hurting her .... and let her know how much she really meant to me.... of course the ex-husband knows i cared for her but i dont think he really know how much... no one does honestly...i guess maybe except for you now....

ah..yes...another stupid decision in Erin's Ridiculous World of Delusion.... maybe that'll be the name of my reality show.... Will you watch it??