ana

I need a job. I have an unemployment interview and I'm scared about it. I hate stuff like that. And watching 4 dogs has been too much. NO SLEEP. AND I've been sick.... AND I wanna see the guy I crush on BUT I'm a mess... scared to make a move... and still can't get a read on what he thinks of me. AND I have to go in a few days to fly and see relatives I have not seen in 4 years who are slightly mad at me AND visit my grandma's grave... AND THEN it's been 6 years since my dad died of cancer. AND THEN it's Thanksgiving and my mom actually wants us to visit family this year... and family is politics and travel and getting dog care...

AND every November makes me crazy... I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit... the whole thing is just making me sick... my best friends seem mad at me and I don't know why.

YES my self confidence is unusually low. I've been watching Falicity on netflix and I feel like a goober girl loser like her... except she's a virgin and I've only watched the first few episodes... I hope she gets cooler because her craving over this dude is freaking me out. It reminds me of me... and yea.

I know I'm being negative. But I have to get it outta my head someone... so it's here. I'm just such a basket case and I don't wanna be. What is a basket case anyways? I don't have a brain right now! AND I keep trying to play scrabble. I don't know why I'm sucking at life so badly.