amoff

i'm a little drunk and i just wrote this mammoth block of words. if you do read it all then thank you.

a friend said this quote

"I'll tell you the real horrible truth.
No matter what you do or how bad you feel
about it, life just goes on. Life doesn't give a fuck
that you're sorry or upset or deranged or tormented.
Life just goes on, and you gotta go on with it, or sit in
the middle of the road and feel sorry for yourself."


'Blue Moon'
Laurell K Hamiltom

and i got on to a trail of thought. and...well...i typed it now.


if life keeps going on and doesn't give a fuck about you it is like a train on the tracks. but one not taking anyone anywhere, one with an unknown purpose. does it have a purpose? cos if it does and our place in the world is unimportant to it's journey then our life is only important to us - if we choose to hold it so. therefore there is no goodluck and badluck. shit is just shit.
and how is other peoples life important to us? our family and friends obviously because they are there for us and will be forever if we choose to treat them as what they are and deserve to be.
but most of the other people in the world i have never met, nor am i likely to. but based on a small representation of the people i have met i don't give a shit about them.
i'm sure everyone is kind and good in their own ways and very much loved by the people in their lives, but when i have to put up with mindless arrogant cattle everyday of my life and have to lick their boots and tell them how good they are i find it very difficult to cope.

i don't wish anybody harm, and indeed i have never hit anyone and usually taken abuse rather than get into an altercation, i just wish - and i have no idea how it could be achieved - that people would just be nice to each other for a fucking change.

life seems to hit me, as it does my friends, all the time. i just seem to be able to deal with it in a less efficient manner. but is it life or just the choices i make? i think it's just the choices i make and i find it easier to blame a non-existent entity than try to work out my own problems.

i don't think life is a train. or something that rolls along hitting people in it's way.
life is the collective term for experiences, memories, kisses, muggings, thinking, wine, food, work, bills, watching amelie, and everything else that makes up shit and spunk that flies at our faces.
and it is our abilities to come to terms with the fact that there is more in the world than our parents let on when we were growing up, and numerous other issues tailored to each of us that keep us from developing and realising that the person opposite you which ever direction you happen to face is going through some shit too - and like you probably just wants a warm hug and to be told everything will be ok.
WHEN YOU HUG SOMEONE AND TALK TO THEM YOU ARE MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE AND MAKING EVERYONE A LITTLE HAPPIER. cos they'll be happy around someone else.

AND LASTLY THIS IS NOT A CHAIN LETTER. I JUST WROTE IT COS I'M A LITTLE DRUNK. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ANYONE THIS INFORMATION.
JUST THINK ABOUT IT. AND IF IT MAKES ANY SENSE TO YOU GO AND HUG SOMEONE.

XXX