Dearest Edensoy,
Oh how I love you! You sweeten up my cereal with your vanilla goodness and soften my tea with your silky smooth texture. You perfect my smoothies and add just the right flavor to my Newman O's. You are the X to my O, and I love you so, but please answer me this one question. Why can you not spill the fuck everywhere when I try to pour you? I swear bitch, you are sloppier than a drunk jersey girl on E. Fucking get your act together or I'm going to fuck your sister instead.
Sincerely,
Amitabha
ps. And don't fucking cry about it this time. I can't come when you cry.
Oh how I love you! You sweeten up my cereal with your vanilla goodness and soften my tea with your silky smooth texture. You perfect my smoothies and add just the right flavor to my Newman O's. You are the X to my O, and I love you so, but please answer me this one question. Why can you not spill the fuck everywhere when I try to pour you? I swear bitch, you are sloppier than a drunk jersey girl on E. Fucking get your act together or I'm going to fuck your sister instead.
Sincerely,
Amitabha
ps. And don't fucking cry about it this time. I can't come when you cry.
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
miloryan:
No shit, evrytime I try to shake up my vanilla rice milk it leaks all over the place. They really should make better lcaps for those boxes.
miloryan:
Nah, I don't drink dairy but I couldn't live with out the cheese. I try not to eat red meat either. I didn't eat any for about 8 years but I've been slackin on that as of late.