AAAARGGGH 
I'm starting to think i might be bi-polar. I've been going through moodswings and hot flashes like a fortyfive year old woman. happy one day, In the depths of sorrow the next. It might just be my overractive mind craving for some stability in my life or for some other form of stimulation (not drug or sex related) Anywho....I just need to get to the bottom of it. I've been trying to break it down in verse, but that hasn't reached any compelling conclusions. I wanna feel as good as i did in my profile picture. Yeah i sure was happy at that moment. But a different type of ecstacy is what I crave. I feel like I'm not validated for any of my achievments. Like nothing I've done for people around me is appreciated but taken for granted. It's like a third of life crisis. I've gotten to the point where being upbeat and cheerful is preety much a facade to keep people from making doe yes and saying "awww, you okay?" "it will get better" "you're so dope, Something good will happen." WHEN? Do all good guys finish last? Cuz if so? I might just do something sinister just to make sure I cross the finish line early! I'm we have these journals. No I can read what I've written in the moring and see if I'm as crazy as i think I am.
Addendum: Well after reading ]toneski and ash's Remarks, i decided to watch Fight Club. i mean i'm crazy but i'm not about to build a soap wielding army Thanx guys. I am the all singing a ll dancing shit otf thee earth
I'm starting to think i might be bi-polar. I've been going through moodswings and hot flashes like a fortyfive year old woman. happy one day, In the depths of sorrow the next. It might just be my overractive mind craving for some stability in my life or for some other form of stimulation (not drug or sex related) Anywho....I just need to get to the bottom of it. I've been trying to break it down in verse, but that hasn't reached any compelling conclusions. I wanna feel as good as i did in my profile picture. Yeah i sure was happy at that moment. But a different type of ecstacy is what I crave. I feel like I'm not validated for any of my achievments. Like nothing I've done for people around me is appreciated but taken for granted. It's like a third of life crisis. I've gotten to the point where being upbeat and cheerful is preety much a facade to keep people from making doe yes and saying "awww, you okay?" "it will get better" "you're so dope, Something good will happen." WHEN? Do all good guys finish last? Cuz if so? I might just do something sinister just to make sure I cross the finish line early! I'm we have these journals. No I can read what I've written in the moring and see if I'm as crazy as i think I am.
Addendum: Well after reading ]toneski and ash's Remarks, i decided to watch Fight Club. i mean i'm crazy but i'm not about to build a soap wielding army Thanx guys. I am the all singing a ll dancing shit otf thee earth
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
it's hot!
anywho, yea. my former therapist suggested that i was bi polar.
i say just persevere and do what you love to do regardless of how much credit or appreciation people show you. there's a buddhist quote saying "it takes twelve days and nights to reach the ancient city of kyoto. if one stops and gives up on his eleventh night, he will never be able to see the magnificent moon over kyoto." or something like that.
if you stop and go astray from your path, you will just take way longer to achieve your goals.
good luck sweetie