I am tired and sore but I can't sleep. I am sleeping les and less latley witch is not really good concidering I am exercizing more and more. Today i did 30 minutes on my unicycle, 15 mins climbing on a home made tissue set up that my dad helped me hang from a tree ( I know I know I am going to kill myself. I will take that chance.) , 30 mins of stretching and strenght training and 20 mins of juggling. All this after working 9 hours. and that is an average day for me now. I am so tired.
I am signing up for a flexiblity and contortion class tommorrow I can't wait.
My ex boyfriend rang me today and I didn't answer it made me feel like an arse beacuse we agreed to stay friends but I didn't really feel like I could deal with talking to him, he has a way of making me feel like I am a monster for leaving him. Maybe I am I mean he was a great guy and he treated me well and I guess I loved him but I just wanted so time on my own too sought my shit out I even thought that maybe in the future we might have a chance but he keeps pushing me and making me feel bad and I guess that now I am coming to the realization that it is over for good. I don't want to be with someone that only makes me feel bad when I am around them. I told him from the start and repeditively after that that I just wanted an easy going relationship and that I couldn't give him forever and yet still I feel like a monster.
Why do guys either just want to have sex with you or thet want to have you forever and consume your soul why can't there be boys out there that just want to have a fun easy going relationship where you both respect each other and want to spend time together but you don't have to own each other forever and ever and ever. Oh well enough whineing for me I am going to marry the circus anyway as it has stolen my heart and so noone else can have it. You heard me back off.
Night night
xoxo
Amilie
I am signing up for a flexiblity and contortion class tommorrow I can't wait.
My ex boyfriend rang me today and I didn't answer it made me feel like an arse beacuse we agreed to stay friends but I didn't really feel like I could deal with talking to him, he has a way of making me feel like I am a monster for leaving him. Maybe I am I mean he was a great guy and he treated me well and I guess I loved him but I just wanted so time on my own too sought my shit out I even thought that maybe in the future we might have a chance but he keeps pushing me and making me feel bad and I guess that now I am coming to the realization that it is over for good. I don't want to be with someone that only makes me feel bad when I am around them. I told him from the start and repeditively after that that I just wanted an easy going relationship and that I couldn't give him forever and yet still I feel like a monster.
Why do guys either just want to have sex with you or thet want to have you forever and consume your soul why can't there be boys out there that just want to have a fun easy going relationship where you both respect each other and want to spend time together but you don't have to own each other forever and ever and ever. Oh well enough whineing for me I am going to marry the circus anyway as it has stolen my heart and so noone else can have it. You heard me back off.
Night night
xoxo
Amilie
candycrimson:
I'm sorry you're having relationship troubles. Sometimes it is hard to find the right balance in a relationship. It sounds like the other parts of your life are very fulfilling though, so you are lucky to have that. Hope your sleep gets better so you can have more fun in your waking hours!
redstomp:
DEAM MEN EVERY TIME THAT U READ YOU, U'RE SAD, BUT I UNDERSTAND U, MY EX IS LIKE YOURS, EVERY MUTHAFUKER DAY THAT SPEAK WHIT HER I FELL LIKE SHIT, BUT ANYWAYS, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE, AND HOW'S THE CIRCUS GOING, UPLOAD A VIDEO OF U MAKING STUFFS OK???? C U