amelinda

I admitted today (to the man who is most interested in being with me), honestly, one of the biggest reasons I am hesitant to be in a relationship is because I am selfish. I worked hard to get where I am. I lived in a car with a new born baby 4 years ago, and now I own a house that is HUGE. It took a lot of sacrifice, and hard work, especially since I didnt it all with my kids right by my side every second of the day. I don't really want to share what I earned. I want to bask in it for a while. I like that I have 3 bedrooms all to myself, my kids get the other 2. I like getting to decorate all 3 of my bathrooms, or both of my living rooms however boring or crazy I want, and I am the only one who gets any say in it.
He said, it doesnt matter to me, you can still have and do all that, all I care about is having a garage to do man stuff in and my reply was no. Thats my garage. I want to use it. I have plans for my garage.

But the selfishness doesnt stop there. My kids are MY kids. I want them to like me best, I dont want to share them with people. I want special moments with my kids, thats just me and my kids. You can buy my kids things, and tell them how great they are, but only I get a say in when and if they need to be punished.


I guess, I could work on the selfishness, except for my kids (I WILL NEVER SHARE THEM)
But there are some other things plaguing me as well, that I am just not willing to admit out loud yet.


Anyways, my house is wreck right now, In a sort-of-good way. I am putting new flooring down, I am mostly doing it myself, but my brother and candypanties came to help me last weekend, and I am sure I will be seeing more of them eventually. Having a big house rocks, except when it comes to doing things like these.

Logan is in Tball, and it is pretty damn funny. He is the youngest by far on his team, but I wouldnt say he is the worst playerthey are all bad. His first game was on Monday, and it was so funny and cute. 2 highlight moments;
Logans team in the field, the other team up to bat. The kid hits the ball, all the kids in the field go running towards the ballcept logan takes off, off the field and towards me, rushes over and says MAMA! I love you, Im playing baseball.
Second moment, Logans team up to bat, and Logan was already on first base. The next kid hits the ball and Logan runstowards the pitchers mound. He thought it was second base.
I need to get my video camera fixed.

I have so many more good things going on right now, but Ill leave those for next time.


Sidenote. Goal, lose 15 lbs by sept 15th. (ive been getting large!) Ill keep this part up dated, perhaps it will keep me motivated.