one of my last heros died this weekend...metaforically speaking. I threw a 60th B-day party for my mother and everything went pretty well. She enjoyed it, so did the 35 friends and family that came...I kept getting told what a great son I was and everything...expect by my bro. He was pretty much the only one who didn't at least offer to help in some way, or refused to do even simple things that I asked, like picka cd to play. Just his general attitude and several remarks that I overheard him say helped me realize that this great man who I had loved and looked up to for pretty much all of my life is nothing more then a jerk. His casual insults and stupid remarks, and the fact that when I offered to spilt a gift with him he mearly said that he would send her a check later. I had been kind of down since the party yesterday but I couldn't figure out why. Then as I was driving home from work thsi afternoon I realized what it was...That even though I still love my brother, I no longer respect him. This has been bugging me all day and I've probably over thought it to death but.....of all the stories I've heard of groing up, my bro has been the only one I've heard of as been bullyish. He only gets up here maybe once a year to see the family, if that, and you can easily sense that he tolerates our mother and feels that she should be grateful that he is there.....there are other things but I'm not angry enough to post them. I'm just sad over realizing that my biggest role model actually turned out to be a poor choice....
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sorry i have been wicked busy with work after work after work...I am non-stop working machine,,thats how i feel lately agh