I'm always so torn between spilling my guts here or just being vague enough to get it "out" but not throw my drama all over. The good thing about this moment in my life (one of them, anyways) is that there really isn't any "drama" that I can keyboard-vomit into a blog that would upset someone. I mean, maybe the marriage situation but is there really any way to say "divorce sucks" and have it NOT be understood? There's no reason, or need within myself, to sit here and talk about why..... so. Yeah. Divorce sucks. Don't wanna go into detail with anyone about it, it's WAY too personal.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
A good friend and I parted ways yesterday. I got told via DM and email that I wasn't a good enough friend. No, they didn't use those words. But hey, you don't need the details. Reekie and I really haven't talked lately, and I fear it's going to get worse because she moves in to her dorm in like, a couple days. The good part? I don't feel like I'm losing Reekie at all. The bad part? I haven't talked to Reekie and I'm not really able to get on her emotional level sometimes which makes the times we do talk even harder on me. At least she still sticks around and commits to a relationship with me even when I don't talk to her some days or struggle to even say hi. A true, loving friend.
Money is dumb and I wish I had a lot of it so that Bryzly had a yard to run around in and I could actually buy a bra that fucking FITS and isn't cutting up my tits with the underwire. That's all I ask for. You know, a bra that won't make me look like a tramp at a job interview. And maybe to afford fresh food? Or how about just enough to pay for mental help? Whatever. Money is a love and hate thing for everyone everywhere it seems. I'm no different.
Smores vodka is gross. Don't buy it. I'm disappointed.
But hey, my dad left me some fishsticks and steakfries and gravy and cheese and bread and soup and little pizzas. So I have food. Also he left bacon in the fridge after he opened the wrapper, so I can use it and blame it on it starting to go bad. He's in Allentown, PA from now until Friday. So I can take off my bra and let the little cuts heal. I started my period, kind of..... so thank GOD I have poutine and grilled cheese & tomato soup. My stress level is so high that it's screwing with my hormones like whoa. Whatever. Probably TMI but I don't care. It means I'm hungry and emotional and crying and bloating and having cravings and etc etc.
I have Bryzly though. So that helps. Today she cuddled with me a TON! I was so happy. She fell asleep with her snout tucked under my chin. I cried a little. She loves me in her own special way. I can't imagine life without that noisey little monster.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I sound like such a whiny, spoiled brat. I kind of am. I'll be honest. But I'm really trying to grow out of it. And while I've been through so much, a victim for so long.... the more I try and figure out what to do next or what the next step is, the more lost I become. And once I see things clearly, I see too many things in my way, too much work or confusion and my brain shuts down and I just lay on the couch watching the fabric on the backrest just.... exist. Eyes wide open, trying not to have an anxiety attack. It's so shitty. I just want to be "normal" and have a crappy job that I don't like but I gossip with my coworkers, to be able to get out of bed when my alarm goes off instead of sleeping through it, to have a reason to own high heels again, to have someone that will call me and ask me to go to the bar with them so we can talk shit about some bitchy coworker behind her back while he make oogly-eyes at boys. It's not that I want to BE normal, but I've been so unable to equal/meet society's basic guidelines to living. My dad tells me I'm lazy. But I'm not. It's all I want. A shitty ass fucking job, nice shoes, walking Bryzly, friends and coworkers, a social life, my own paycheck. LIFE, EH?
I have Goon playing in the background right now. TV is muted but BBT is almost on and my frying oil is all heated for my fishdicks. 
get it?
Anyways, sorry to come back after such a long time away and then just vomit everywhere. I'll post another blog later with happier things.
Goon is amazing. Have you seen it? Yes, its a hockey movie but omg it's hilarious. And also sexy. What is it with me and french-canadian men? LORD HELP ME.
I even found a site that sells jerseys from the movie. I hope my parents will chip in to get one for me. Maybe if I get a job, I can get my Goon ink done too. Who knows. LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE.
Boobs are awesome. So are you. You really are awesome. Not because you're reading this, or comment on sets, or even bother to be an active member. But you're awesome. Never ever forget it. And someone, somewhere is wishing for your life. You may not know it, or even know them. Someone wants the life you're living. Also alcohol is awesome. And poutine. And hot canadian women. Bryzly is awesome. And girls in hockey jerseys. And boys that text me, even though my phone doesn't accept texts lately, and BEING ABLE TO RECEIVE TEXTS IS AWESOME.
Screaming children teasing my dogs out the window and bouncing their basketball against my hallway-facing-wall and door are NOT awesome. I hate children. Scary little poop-machines.
Chicken diapers exist. Google it.
Someday soon, a hot guy is going to ask for my number. And I'm going to stutter. I can't wait.
Love you all, sorry for rambling, gonna go spoiler some of this.
xoxoxo Aly 
also i will agree with you on the following....alcohol is awesome, so are boobs, goon, and you lol
Too bad I'm not a hot guy.
And I do love you. That won't change.
Boobs are great, yours are epic.