alvynaumagumma

twelve years ago, i was baptised into my parents' faith

ten years ago, i made a decision to lead a different spiritual path, but because of my baptism, this meant my parents would have to one day make a choice between me and their god

three years ago, i moved out on my own and my parents dumped me. it was very much like a breakup; if you're ever truly in need, we'll be there, but otherwise we want you out of our lives

last summer, my son Oz was born and my parents came around more often (to see him, and me by association). i'd gotten my hopes up that we'd be a family again many a time just to have them dashed to pieces, so i tried to remain reserved

a few months back my father suffered 3 strokes in short succession. i guess he was very aware of his mortality because it seemed my parents started making an effort to be a part of my life

last month, my father asked me to petition the elders of their faith to reverse my baptism of oh so many years ago. it's rare, but not unheard of, and my situation seemed to meet the requirements. if the elders agreed, it would be like i'd never been baptised. my parents would no longer be obligated to shun me, and we could be a family. i figured it was worth a try.

yesterday, my parents called to tell me my petition had been rejected. furthermore, they wished to make it clear that i was dead to them: they will never speak to me again, and they never want us to be found in the same building. i told them if that was what they wanted, fine, but i won't let them change their mind. i don't want to be fucked with!!

i thought i'd sorted through these emotions years ago, but i couldn't keep from crying ...

here we go again, the last loop-di-loop of the coaster ... wheeeeee!