I don't know why, but no matter what I do, no matter how much I want to stand on my own, be proud of what I do, if my dad shrugs off what I think is an accomplishment I feel like I hit a new low. Seriously, why the hell am I so wrapped up on needing his EXACT approval. The rest of my family, friends, colleagues, etc could be completely behind me but if that asshole of a father doesn't even acknowledge that I did something it's like nothing else mattered.
I've been running a small website devoted to independently developed games (mostly video games) for quite awhile and I can't tell you how much blood, sweat, and tears I've put into the damn thing, how much I've wanted to throw the towel in, to quit, or hell even find a not so safe release, but I've continued to do it. At this point its not about me, or maybe it is some sort of twisted self-fulfillment, but I want to be able to talk to people share my opinions, see that look on their face when they figure out that someone else shares their views, opinions, thoughts on certain subjects. I like to go to conventions work my ass off at the fan table for the entire time of the convention and talk to people all day about anything and everything, while at the same time trying to make people aware that Indie Games are potentially our sanity's salvation when it comes to some of the crap that comes out these days.
All of this I do, I have people shaking my hands, thanking me for what I do, I get automatic press credentials at almost every convention now because I'm not scared to give constructive criticism about ANYTHING. At the end of the day, though, when I try to talk about my accomplishments, which might be minor to most people, my dad doesn't even acknowledge it. It's as if he fucking shrugs off my words and then gets to a topic he wants to talk about.
FUCK!!
