altamedic

i have had a mental and physical breakdown. not the type of blog i wanted to write but its why i really have not been around lately. mentally and physically i have shut down and fell into a small world where i cannot be hurt as i have been in real life. Sorry to you all if this is a whiny type of blog but like my others i need ot clear out my mind and this is a way of doing it. i have to say before i really get into this is a huge huge huge hug and thanks to the one and only Bellica in that she is trying to help me find my match even though she lives like a few thousand miles away **okie more than a few hehe*** i am sorry hun i have not been around much...
i am not sure how i can put this. i mean i cant even figure out what the hell is wrong with me to begin with let alone be able to put it down. i am now seeing a shrink. that is helping a bit. with the talks i am finding out that i was abused as a preteen and teen. according to him i suppressed these memories and thoughts and with a few inccidents that have happened the last few weeks these memories have sufaced and that is a huge contributer to my break down. hehe the only escape i could find is work. and that is just not healthy. so i have alot more to see him about and talk to him about.

anyway all that is in very brief of what is doing on. later on ill be poppin in and saying hi to you all. and trying to update you. untile then, lots of love to you all and hugs....i miss you all, i miss being sane, i miss being happy


alta