well i think its time to update this thing, now remember all, these are just random thoughts floating around this here head and are popping out in no particular order:
1. i am finding myself getting depressed again here, its starting to become spring once again and yes mens and womens thoughts eventually turn to relationships and such as have mine. Its the major reason for this depression i think, well sure, its just one part of it but ill get to that later.
2. i have found myself daydreaming (for a better word for it) about how i want to live out the rest of my life. now that i have done that i have jinxed myself and of course it wont work that way so ill be busy working towards a new way of doing it.
3. i dont know where this itch is coming from, but i find myself more and more wanting to move from this place. at first i was all excited and such about being up here but after only 4 months of being here i am starting to realize that this may not be a good place for me to be at. i am also extremely upset that my beliefs and thoughts on how a emergency medical company should be working as a team and that teamwork was one of the most important things and such, well i have seen the reality, or at least the reality up here at this particular place where there is no team work, the EMR's (the lowest lvl of emergency worker on ambulance here) are treated no better than slaves, cleaning the vehicle, stocking it, doing all the gopher jobs here, and just being treated like shit. now i realize being the lowest of the levels you are expect to "put" your time in and such, but i for one would really not be able to handle the crap these people go thru. Then you have your EMT's who are the middle people, they order the EMR's around, and try to push thier duties onto them while sitting around having coffee or surfing the net or whatever the hell they do. Then the last lvl is the Paramedics, now i have to admit in the last week things have been getting better, but before some of them *not all* would refuse to do anything around the base (base duties are to be done by ALL on shift), and pretty well walk around with huge egos and huge attitudes. but lately i have noticed a change in that they are now realizing that they have to help out too. anyway back to my original thought on this, there is no teamwork here and that crushed my thoughts on how great EMS is. i dont know maybe i need to sit back and rethink this whole thing. im not sure i even want to go on ambulance, the pay is crap up here, and the crap you have to put up with from your "partner" is no good either.
4. i want to welcome back a good friend of mine to sg, she knows who she is, and i hope she realizes i would do anything in my power to keep her smiling.. lots of love to you hun
5. another disturbing thought popping around in this wide open space is how i notice friends on sg and how they drift apart after a time, for some i know its hard to say hi to everyone all the time but after awhile you drift apart and thats pretty sad. i know i value all my friendships and i am guilty of not saying hi to everyone but i vow to at least send everyone a hug or a smile.
well i have alot more to talk about but time is running out right now so i shall bid you all a great day and hopefully ill talk to you all later
Troy
1. i am finding myself getting depressed again here, its starting to become spring once again and yes mens and womens thoughts eventually turn to relationships and such as have mine. Its the major reason for this depression i think, well sure, its just one part of it but ill get to that later.
2. i have found myself daydreaming (for a better word for it) about how i want to live out the rest of my life. now that i have done that i have jinxed myself and of course it wont work that way so ill be busy working towards a new way of doing it.
3. i dont know where this itch is coming from, but i find myself more and more wanting to move from this place. at first i was all excited and such about being up here but after only 4 months of being here i am starting to realize that this may not be a good place for me to be at. i am also extremely upset that my beliefs and thoughts on how a emergency medical company should be working as a team and that teamwork was one of the most important things and such, well i have seen the reality, or at least the reality up here at this particular place where there is no team work, the EMR's (the lowest lvl of emergency worker on ambulance here) are treated no better than slaves, cleaning the vehicle, stocking it, doing all the gopher jobs here, and just being treated like shit. now i realize being the lowest of the levels you are expect to "put" your time in and such, but i for one would really not be able to handle the crap these people go thru. Then you have your EMT's who are the middle people, they order the EMR's around, and try to push thier duties onto them while sitting around having coffee or surfing the net or whatever the hell they do. Then the last lvl is the Paramedics, now i have to admit in the last week things have been getting better, but before some of them *not all* would refuse to do anything around the base (base duties are to be done by ALL on shift), and pretty well walk around with huge egos and huge attitudes. but lately i have noticed a change in that they are now realizing that they have to help out too. anyway back to my original thought on this, there is no teamwork here and that crushed my thoughts on how great EMS is. i dont know maybe i need to sit back and rethink this whole thing. im not sure i even want to go on ambulance, the pay is crap up here, and the crap you have to put up with from your "partner" is no good either.
4. i want to welcome back a good friend of mine to sg, she knows who she is, and i hope she realizes i would do anything in my power to keep her smiling.. lots of love to you hun
5. another disturbing thought popping around in this wide open space is how i notice friends on sg and how they drift apart after a time, for some i know its hard to say hi to everyone all the time but after awhile you drift apart and thats pretty sad. i know i value all my friendships and i am guilty of not saying hi to everyone but i vow to at least send everyone a hug or a smile.
well i have alot more to talk about but time is running out right now so i shall bid you all a great day and hopefully ill talk to you all later
Troy
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I know lately I have been utterly and completely horrible at saying hello, but don't ever doubt that I don't think of you often
I hope you have a better day, and take care
I won't be here too much because I have some stuff to sort out, but I'll return.
Take care...