I started seeing her at the beginning of 2015. We hit it off so well, a bunch of stuff in common, the sex is fantastic, all smiles all the time from the both of us. fast forward to the first day of spring, I take her to watch the sunrise/solar eclipse. As luck would have it, we are the only place in North America that had the luxury of viewing this eclipse so, we were two out of a small amount of people in North America that got to see it! I got an overwhelming feeling to just go ahead and ask her to be my girlfriend, so I did and she happily agreed. Fast forward another month, she comes to me and basically tells me that she doesn't know if a relationship is right for her at this time in her life. She explains that she does have feelings for me and loves spending time with me but, she's young (she's 21 and I'm 25), she wants to enjoy her summer with her friends because last summer she was kind of held back by her ex, she feels like she has a lot of growing to do and she doesn't know if growing with someone is what she needs. At first I'm obviously shocked and upset by this. It feels like daja vu; Here we go again, getting dumped. She tells me she feels like this could have worked so well at another time in her life, that I treat her so nice, I'm funny, good looking and there just isn't anything bad about me. So, this being the first talk of many, I'm a little overwhelmed and I haven't really got much of a response to all this. We take a couple days apart, I somehow come to a realization that it's ok. It's ok that she feels this way, I had to take three years between my last relationship and this one to figure myself out, understand me and what I wanted for myself. I realize that I do not want her to go but if she has to then, I know that I had a blast with her all this time and that cannot be taken away from me. I want her to be happy and be the best version of herself she can be and If that means that she needs to be alone, then I'm ok with that. I explain everything to her. She seems to be relieved by it all but explains to me that she just doesn't know what to do. I told her to go with her gut feeling even if that means we need to part. I tell her to take some time to think about it and she smiles and does just that. She told me that she'd have an answer for me today, a little over two weeks after this all started to happen. So we've hung on a few times in between the. We had sex once and went for hikes, drives and coffee. She went to her Uncles for the weekend in a small community a couple hours away this weekend to relax and figure things out. No cellphone service, no internet, just her, her dog and nature. So here I am. Sitting down at work, thinking about all of this and just wondering if I'll still have her by my side the end of the night. We're meeting up at a coffee shop after I get off to talk and hear the final verdict. I know I'll be a bit down if this doesn't work out but, truthfully, I just want to see that girl smile all the time again. Her smile is infectious and she deserves nothing but the best. I hope that whatever decision comes out of today makes everything work the way she wants it. I'll still be good friends with her if this doesn't work. I'll make an effort to hang out with her from time to time and do the outdoor activities we both love so much. And who knows, maybe we will work out later in life; All I know is that I'm not going to hold on to that dream but, I won't extinguish it either.
