*CAUSE AND EFFECT...
Is there a statute of limitations on blaming your parents for your own problems? Some age---20, or 30, or 35, or 45---at which you have to say "OK, it's not my alcoholic mother, or my abusive father, or any other kind of Oprah dysfunctional-family cliche that made my life the fucked-up mess it is, but just me"? Why not always blame the past? Or why not never blame it? There are always alternatives, I've always said; so why isn't it "the road more traveled"?
...CHOICES...
Decisions, decisions. I made a big one a few weeks ago: never mind the details---I turned down an offer of short-term renumeration and fulfillment with remote chance of long-term success, preferring an alternate path of short-term frustration with a much greater chance of future gain, not just financial but also emotional and intellectual. I've burnt a bridge and it feels good for once---one less troll underneath to worry about.
...AND A PARADOX
The biggest development of my life these past few years: taking responsibility, becoming what I am, no more Sartrean "bad faith," no more taking the path of least resistance, no more putting other people's expectations before mine. Yet this, in itself, is not an act of individuality. "To thine own self be true"---but Shakespeare meant that line, like the rest of Polonius' advice, to be dull, trite, not worthy of serious consideration. (Or so obvious that not worth mentioning? Cliches and stereotypes come to exist not because they are false but because they are often true.)
(*format stolen from the fascinating sugarjones)
Is there a statute of limitations on blaming your parents for your own problems? Some age---20, or 30, or 35, or 45---at which you have to say "OK, it's not my alcoholic mother, or my abusive father, or any other kind of Oprah dysfunctional-family cliche that made my life the fucked-up mess it is, but just me"? Why not always blame the past? Or why not never blame it? There are always alternatives, I've always said; so why isn't it "the road more traveled"?
...CHOICES...
Decisions, decisions. I made a big one a few weeks ago: never mind the details---I turned down an offer of short-term renumeration and fulfillment with remote chance of long-term success, preferring an alternate path of short-term frustration with a much greater chance of future gain, not just financial but also emotional and intellectual. I've burnt a bridge and it feels good for once---one less troll underneath to worry about.
...AND A PARADOX
The biggest development of my life these past few years: taking responsibility, becoming what I am, no more Sartrean "bad faith," no more taking the path of least resistance, no more putting other people's expectations before mine. Yet this, in itself, is not an act of individuality. "To thine own self be true"---but Shakespeare meant that line, like the rest of Polonius' advice, to be dull, trite, not worthy of serious consideration. (Or so obvious that not worth mentioning? Cliches and stereotypes come to exist not because they are false but because they are often true.)
(*format stolen from the fascinating sugarjones)
My parents knew I was a hell raiser and got me involved in sports at an early age. As a kid, you cant get in much trouble when you are going to practice every other day and have games on the weekends and are sent off to sports camps during the summer. It wasnt till after my fathers death that I realized that I was living my life according to my parents expectations and resented the pressure placed on me to achieve sports and academic excellence. I really wasnt a happy person and was doing destructive stuff in a misguided attempt to achieve the perception of some control. It wasnt till after my mother died that I realized how counterproductive my actions were and how much it must have pained my parents to watch their son do stupid stuff.
Just kidding.
Hey it's 4:20. Time to give complete strangers hugs and bond with your favorite comfort food!
Oh, look Pringles...
*wanders off*