Has there been a person that's gone through life without ever having lied? I'm not just talking about the big lies like; "I don't even know that girl." or "Who him? Oh sweetie, we're just friends." It's also the little ones that are supposed to spare other people's feelings like; "Size really doesn't matter." or "No, I don't think that outfit makes you look fat at all."
There was a book I read once called City of Truth (great book!!). It was set in a world where lies just weren't told. Everything was spoken of in the most literal terms possible and people spoke to one another in an almost savagely honest way. A dream world? Probably. Such brutal honesty requires a certain level heartlessness and I can't bring myself to believe the world is that cold.
People walk up to one another all of the time and ask things like 'How ya doin?' Do they really care? Most likely they don't. Do they really want to know how I'm doing or are they just using those words as a way of saying 'Hello'? Most people just respond by saying that they're doing 'Fine' or 'Just peachy'. Lie? You betcha. Why not say how youre really doing, 'I'm doing shitty, thanks for reminding me.'? At least then people will know why you're in such a foul mood. Better yet, why not ask the person whether they really care or not. This'll not only make them re-think any future attempts at small talk but it'll also convey a certain amount hostility that will clearly reflect exactly how you are doin'.
White lies. Sparing the feeling of others. Why is it ok to tell lies like this? Is it because they're supposed to protect us from the things that might hurt us? Is there a difference between those lies and the bigger ones? If you lie to your partner about fooling around with someone else is it as bad as telling them that their cooking is the best you've ever had, when really it tastes like boiled sewage? Technically speaking, they're both lies. Both are trying to conceal potentially harmful information, but they are on completely different levels as far as pain is concerned. Sure, lying about your cheating ways is a way of saving your ass but you might also be trying to spare the feeling of the one you love. On the other hand, you might tell a friend that they look okay in an outfit when they really look kinda stupid. "It's sparing their feelings." you tell yourself, but in reality they could walk out the door and find themselves the butt of other's jokes. Did you really spare their feelings?
Most of the time the lies are so small that people don't even notice that they've been lied to, but when people do catch you in that tiny harmless lie they freak. "How can I trust you with important things when you can't even tell me the truth about something so small?" they ask, and god help your soul if they find out one of your big lies.
What do you do with someone that lies to you? Some people forgive. While others abandon the liar and avoid them at all cost. This is hard especially when it is someone very close to you. Those little lies seem easier to forgive. And I know that there are things you just can't forgive but try and understand why the lie happened.
If you know and understand the circumstances in which this person lied to you. You will also find the point to which you can trust them. If someone lies to you the first time you meet them, you know that you can't trust them any further than you can throw them. But if your best friend sleeps with your boyfriend because they've fallen in love, then you know that she just can't be trusted when it comes to matters of the heart. She may however, be trusted to pick you up from the airport or perhaps watch your cat. There's no sense in throwing away a perfectly good friend just because they make poor judgment calls.
But I don't lie.
"If I can lie to people and make them feel better about themselves, why can't I lie to myself to make me feel better?"
There was a book I read once called City of Truth (great book!!). It was set in a world where lies just weren't told. Everything was spoken of in the most literal terms possible and people spoke to one another in an almost savagely honest way. A dream world? Probably. Such brutal honesty requires a certain level heartlessness and I can't bring myself to believe the world is that cold.
People walk up to one another all of the time and ask things like 'How ya doin?' Do they really care? Most likely they don't. Do they really want to know how I'm doing or are they just using those words as a way of saying 'Hello'? Most people just respond by saying that they're doing 'Fine' or 'Just peachy'. Lie? You betcha. Why not say how youre really doing, 'I'm doing shitty, thanks for reminding me.'? At least then people will know why you're in such a foul mood. Better yet, why not ask the person whether they really care or not. This'll not only make them re-think any future attempts at small talk but it'll also convey a certain amount hostility that will clearly reflect exactly how you are doin'.
White lies. Sparing the feeling of others. Why is it ok to tell lies like this? Is it because they're supposed to protect us from the things that might hurt us? Is there a difference between those lies and the bigger ones? If you lie to your partner about fooling around with someone else is it as bad as telling them that their cooking is the best you've ever had, when really it tastes like boiled sewage? Technically speaking, they're both lies. Both are trying to conceal potentially harmful information, but they are on completely different levels as far as pain is concerned. Sure, lying about your cheating ways is a way of saving your ass but you might also be trying to spare the feeling of the one you love. On the other hand, you might tell a friend that they look okay in an outfit when they really look kinda stupid. "It's sparing their feelings." you tell yourself, but in reality they could walk out the door and find themselves the butt of other's jokes. Did you really spare their feelings?
Most of the time the lies are so small that people don't even notice that they've been lied to, but when people do catch you in that tiny harmless lie they freak. "How can I trust you with important things when you can't even tell me the truth about something so small?" they ask, and god help your soul if they find out one of your big lies.
What do you do with someone that lies to you? Some people forgive. While others abandon the liar and avoid them at all cost. This is hard especially when it is someone very close to you. Those little lies seem easier to forgive. And I know that there are things you just can't forgive but try and understand why the lie happened.
If you know and understand the circumstances in which this person lied to you. You will also find the point to which you can trust them. If someone lies to you the first time you meet them, you know that you can't trust them any further than you can throw them. But if your best friend sleeps with your boyfriend because they've fallen in love, then you know that she just can't be trusted when it comes to matters of the heart. She may however, be trusted to pick you up from the airport or perhaps watch your cat. There's no sense in throwing away a perfectly good friend just because they make poor judgment calls.
But I don't lie.
"If I can lie to people and make them feel better about themselves, why can't I lie to myself to make me feel better?"
how do you tell a friend that you can no longer associate with them because your astral self hooked up with their astral self and learned some heinous things they think about you?