alohra

Yesterday was excellent. I ate a ginormous breakfast of eggs, 3 pieces of bacon, hashbrowns, a danish, a piece of cranberry-orange bread and chocolate milk. All the girls in line at the cafeteria glared at me from behind their nutrigrain bars and diet drinks. I just don't think that I could be happy eating that crap for every meal, especially breakfast. I guess that's easy for me to say, because I don't have to choose between being thin and eating what I want. Aargh...what a horrible choice that would be.
After my delicious breakfast, I went on a shopping adventure with Absinthe, which was quite interesting. A horrid man in a coordinated sports suit and gross, zip-up Nikes came over and asked us if we knew anything fun that was going on that night. We said, "No, sorry, we don't. You're asking the wrong people. We're not fun." He then bugged us about our occupations and our destination AND THEN asked, "Well, if I could get both of your numbers, I could take you out for a drink and we could hang-out at my mom's condo". I replied, "We're underage. You can't really take a hint, can you?". He muttered something creepy and wandered off. We have since decided that two, more appropriate responses could have been to say that we were twelve-year-old lesbians, or that we were incestuous twins. Oh well, hindsight is twenty-twenty.
At the first store we went to, I was trying on a sweater that was kind of see-through, but I wasn't wearing a bra. I didn't really care if the inhabitants of the dressing area saw partial areas of my boobs (obviously), so I traipsed on out to look in the big mirrors. A nosey woman came over and started telling me all these reasons why I shouldn't buy the sweater and then she said, "You do know that people can see parts of your breasts through that, right?" as though I OF COURSE didn't know that, or else I never would've tried ON the sweater in the first place. I said, "Oh, I don't really mind" and she mysteriously got very angry and stormed off. Once again, I thought of the perfect response, only moments later; I should have lifted up my shirt and replied, "Oops! There, can you see all of them now?". meh.
I then purchased a beautiful lime green silk and tull poofy skirt, and a scarf that looks like that vanilla frosting with rainbow-colored ball-chunks that you eat when you're a kid. It made us very nostalgic. As we wandered around we found ourselves designing the house that we will live in one day with our men and our gorgeous, gorgeous little girls. We shall have a claw-foot tub, lamps shaped like flapper-women from the 20's, pin-ups everywhere, little kooky lights, enormous floor pillows big enough to swallow you whole and many other delicously wonderful things. Absinthe and I have decided that someone needs to give us a job buying awesome things. Perhaps we could be buyers for a boutique, or decorators for some rich person with bad taste. Hmmm, perhaps we could have a business where we just went around fixing what was wrong with people's decorating in their houses. There's got to be a market for that.
Then came the culinary adventure of a lifetime: "Discount" Sushi!!! The restaurant was in the middle of this bizarre stripmall, nestled between a sketchy mattress store and a $7 haircut place. On the front of the restaurant, someone had placed garish cartoon-like pictures of japanese people and the words "Discount Sushi! 25% off!". Eew. If it's discounted, that either means that something's wrong with it, or it's some clever ploy to pull you in and they've just inflated their regular prices by 25% in order to be able to say it. We were meeting Absinthe's dormies and our college was paying, so we weren't allowed to be picky. We bravely forged in through the door, only to find that the restaurant had a homey feel and was pleasantly decorated. A cute waiter came and brought us to our table. The others joined us and things were looking up. I had thought that it would be a pleasant meal, which it was for the most part. The sushi was good, the atmosphere was pleasant, and it was free. Unfortunately, the p.c. police joined us for dinner. I had somehow managed to forget that Absinthe's housing advisor is the most tolerantly intolerant person in the world. She and her boyfriend jumped down our collective throats at each turn in the conversation. I would try to appease them, but I can never figure out what they want from me.
The bus stop on the way home was directly out of the beginning of either a horror movie, or a porno. We kept cracking jokes about it, but I think we were both secretly relieved when the bus came. We ran over and rented Ghost World and Big Fish and then went back to campus. There was still hay on the SU steps, so we rolled in it and wanted to cover ourselves in it and jump out at people while making weird noises, but no one of interest walked by. The rest of the evening was spent quietly watching the movies. Absinthe and I are in love with Ghostworld. We love the comicbook more, but the movie is still soaked in awesome. I think we decided that we're both combinations of Enid and Rebecca, but I'm a little more Enid and she's a little more Rebecca. I'm a little meaner with black hair and she's sweet and blonde. Ah Enid, so wonderful.
THE END!!!