So to take a break from whatever the regular programming was with dog-beasts and killing deer... however interesting or not that might be.
Last weekend I went to a house party and tonight I was hanging out at Ming with some people from school and there are some points that I found to be interesting.
First point arose when I got to Lethbridge... I was sitting on the front step of the guy's house where I was staying and his daughter's friend just straight up came up to me, introduced herself, and said to me, "do you have a girlfriend? You're cute". They invited me out for drinks which I ultimately didn't go for because I went grocery shopping (yeah, you can laugh). I thought about it afterwards and really... I was flattered. I have a friend who insists that she ranks guys highly who just walk up to her and straight out ask her if she has a boyfriend because that amount of confidence is hot. I would have to agree with her, but my reaction to this girl was sort of like, "So... she doesn't know anything about me... where is this going to go?" And that part of it was a turn-off. So while confidence and directness is good, there's got to be something else to balance it out.
Which brings me to the second point, relating to how things unfolded at and after the house party. The short version is this girl was there that I had a huge crush on for a long time... she's hot like you can't believe. She has that perfect curly brown mediterranean hair and when she smiles at me, it seriously makes me melt. Anyway it took me hours to work up enough balls to talk to her (and without the help of alcohol, so I'm kind of proud of that as lame as it may be) and I basically told her I liked her hair and I had always wanted to dance with her for like, forever but I was too nervous until one time I was just stoned out of my mind and then I couldn't remember what it was like afterwards.
Then later that night I was like... "Dammit, dude... that wasn't clear at all. You have to go back and talk to her some more and just like... find out if she has a boyfriend or not 'cause that's what you really want to know". But by the time I went looking for her she was already gone. So a few days later I just decided to send her an email because otherwise what am I going to do, right? I hardly see her otherwise. So I told her that I thought she looked so good that it was intimidating and how I had always really wanted to talk to her etc.
The cool thing is she wrote back to me and she does have a boyfriend (long distance) but she was impressed that I was really sincere and she was flattered. And I'm actually pretty impressed that I was sincere too. The thing with just walking up to someone and acting really confident, i.e. the "you're hot; do you have a boyfriend?" approach is that it lacks sincerity. It shows that you're confident in your own skills but it doesn't show that you're really interested in her as a person.
Last point came out tonight at Ming over some sweet potato fries, ginger beef, and a pint of honey brown. To backtrack, the day was pretty crappy... it rained, it snowed, I picked up my deposit after my tattoo that I spent a year waiting for fell through, I had an exam that basically showed me how much I don't know about neonatology, and I almost got hit pulling out of a parking spot. So went out to meet some people to get over it all. We were going to go clubbing. For whatever insane reason, I decided that I was going to try to get into Tantra in an army jacket and my Vans. They never want to let me in when I'm well-dressed, let alone in my preferred clothes. So they turned me away, and one of my friends who went to South America for a year. I hadn't seen him for a long time so we all went walking around downtown looking for drinks +/- food. And that's how we ended up at Ming.
The important point at Ming was this thing he told me. Basically his theory is that there are three things you need to know about women: 1) single or not (tells you if you should even try, as taken girls are never good news); 2) is she interested in you or not (tells you if you can actually develop feelings for her); 3) does she act interested in you or not (helps you gauge the quality of the girl). This means that there are 8 kinds of women in the world.
Taken girls (not available at best, bad news at worst):
1) Taken, interested, acts interested - doesn't know what she wants + she's a cheater.
2) Taken, interested, doesn't act interested - makes you the bad guy if you pursue her because you are poaching.
3) Taken, not interested, acts interested - i.e. she is having fun and you are getting played.
4) Taken, not interested, doesn't act interested - You don't like her and she doesn't like you. i.e. the "good" taken girls.
Single girls:
5) Single, interested, acts interested - OK, but could be insecure and awkward
6) Single, interested, doesn't act interested - the best kind. She's intimidating and you have to work for it but it might pay off in the end.
7) Single, not interested, acts interested - in the end things won't work out 'cause she needs the relationship, not you.
8) Single, not interested, doesn't act interested - can't like a girl who doesn't like you
So what I took away from that nice summary he made for me, and which makes sense based on my experience, is: 1) you should never chase girls with boyfriends, 2) if you feel like you have chemistry it probably means she likes you too; 3) a quality girl will be intimidating so the more scared you are to talk to her, the more you should.
So despite having a pretty crappy week, in the end I learned a lot. And I found that the Rolling Stones song really is true... you don't always get what you want, but somehow things turn out to be just what you need.
In SG land... Poe has a new set. Her hair is ++ cool and she likes old-school Sierra computer games. And there's Benni... she has some sweet ink. So SG is having a good day today too. Stop wasting your time reading this crap and go check it out.
Last weekend I went to a house party and tonight I was hanging out at Ming with some people from school and there are some points that I found to be interesting.
First point arose when I got to Lethbridge... I was sitting on the front step of the guy's house where I was staying and his daughter's friend just straight up came up to me, introduced herself, and said to me, "do you have a girlfriend? You're cute". They invited me out for drinks which I ultimately didn't go for because I went grocery shopping (yeah, you can laugh). I thought about it afterwards and really... I was flattered. I have a friend who insists that she ranks guys highly who just walk up to her and straight out ask her if she has a boyfriend because that amount of confidence is hot. I would have to agree with her, but my reaction to this girl was sort of like, "So... she doesn't know anything about me... where is this going to go?" And that part of it was a turn-off. So while confidence and directness is good, there's got to be something else to balance it out.
Which brings me to the second point, relating to how things unfolded at and after the house party. The short version is this girl was there that I had a huge crush on for a long time... she's hot like you can't believe. She has that perfect curly brown mediterranean hair and when she smiles at me, it seriously makes me melt. Anyway it took me hours to work up enough balls to talk to her (and without the help of alcohol, so I'm kind of proud of that as lame as it may be) and I basically told her I liked her hair and I had always wanted to dance with her for like, forever but I was too nervous until one time I was just stoned out of my mind and then I couldn't remember what it was like afterwards.
Then later that night I was like... "Dammit, dude... that wasn't clear at all. You have to go back and talk to her some more and just like... find out if she has a boyfriend or not 'cause that's what you really want to know". But by the time I went looking for her she was already gone. So a few days later I just decided to send her an email because otherwise what am I going to do, right? I hardly see her otherwise. So I told her that I thought she looked so good that it was intimidating and how I had always really wanted to talk to her etc.
The cool thing is she wrote back to me and she does have a boyfriend (long distance) but she was impressed that I was really sincere and she was flattered. And I'm actually pretty impressed that I was sincere too. The thing with just walking up to someone and acting really confident, i.e. the "you're hot; do you have a boyfriend?" approach is that it lacks sincerity. It shows that you're confident in your own skills but it doesn't show that you're really interested in her as a person.
Last point came out tonight at Ming over some sweet potato fries, ginger beef, and a pint of honey brown. To backtrack, the day was pretty crappy... it rained, it snowed, I picked up my deposit after my tattoo that I spent a year waiting for fell through, I had an exam that basically showed me how much I don't know about neonatology, and I almost got hit pulling out of a parking spot. So went out to meet some people to get over it all. We were going to go clubbing. For whatever insane reason, I decided that I was going to try to get into Tantra in an army jacket and my Vans. They never want to let me in when I'm well-dressed, let alone in my preferred clothes. So they turned me away, and one of my friends who went to South America for a year. I hadn't seen him for a long time so we all went walking around downtown looking for drinks +/- food. And that's how we ended up at Ming.
The important point at Ming was this thing he told me. Basically his theory is that there are three things you need to know about women: 1) single or not (tells you if you should even try, as taken girls are never good news); 2) is she interested in you or not (tells you if you can actually develop feelings for her); 3) does she act interested in you or not (helps you gauge the quality of the girl). This means that there are 8 kinds of women in the world.
Taken girls (not available at best, bad news at worst):
1) Taken, interested, acts interested - doesn't know what she wants + she's a cheater.
2) Taken, interested, doesn't act interested - makes you the bad guy if you pursue her because you are poaching.
3) Taken, not interested, acts interested - i.e. she is having fun and you are getting played.
4) Taken, not interested, doesn't act interested - You don't like her and she doesn't like you. i.e. the "good" taken girls.
Single girls:
5) Single, interested, acts interested - OK, but could be insecure and awkward
6) Single, interested, doesn't act interested - the best kind. She's intimidating and you have to work for it but it might pay off in the end.
7) Single, not interested, acts interested - in the end things won't work out 'cause she needs the relationship, not you.
8) Single, not interested, doesn't act interested - can't like a girl who doesn't like you
So what I took away from that nice summary he made for me, and which makes sense based on my experience, is: 1) you should never chase girls with boyfriends, 2) if you feel like you have chemistry it probably means she likes you too; 3) a quality girl will be intimidating so the more scared you are to talk to her, the more you should.
So despite having a pretty crappy week, in the end I learned a lot. And I found that the Rolling Stones song really is true... you don't always get what you want, but somehow things turn out to be just what you need.
In SG land... Poe has a new set. Her hair is ++ cool and she likes old-school Sierra computer games. And there's Benni... she has some sweet ink. So SG is having a good day today too. Stop wasting your time reading this crap and go check it out.