Frustrated!
I have been feeling really good lately in most aspects of my life. I have had the pleasure of joining here and meeting new people who are kind and positive, which I need. Thank you to all who have communicated with me on SG I have met a few new people in my area who are so kind and positive and helping me get my confidence back. I have been lucky enough to have my ex-wife finally allow me to see our daughter again. She won't allow me adopt still. But, I have been getting better.
Unfortunately. I have been unlucky as well. I had a hernia(my third) which required surgery, It happened June 30th, and had surgery July 30th. Finally get to go back to work Sept 10th(my wedding anniversary LOL!!). I have not been able to exercise. I have been stuck just wondering what went wrong in my marriage(see first blog) and not getting to see kid until August 11th(over a month).
I have been pondering all the good that has happened lately too. But, some days it is hard to be a positive influence on myself. My ex, dropped our daughter at Boys and Girls Club while it was closed. I had to rive 35 minutes on my day without her to get her. She walked up to strangers on the river here in a seedy neighborhood asking for help. The ex said "How was I to know it was closed?". There was a huge sign on the doors! Plus, she had a newsletter telling as such.
Then Friday, she hadn't filled out proper paperwork for the school bus to take her to Boys and Girls Club. I had told her for over a week to do this. It wasn't AGAIN my day with our daughter. I went to her school to pick her up 15 minutes after school ended. She was alone and scared again. I had to rescue from her negligent mother twice in 10 days, her mother being defiant and rude both times.
I started smoking again due to the stress of my ex and how she hurts our baby. I feel alone a lot and confused about what I did to deserve an ex like her and deserve an ex who treats our kid this way. It is appalling. I am wanting to believe her mother isn't using drugs but everyone thinks she is. I have no problem with single people or responsible using drugs. Even sober she isn't responsible.
I have always been focused on punctuality, honesty, and hard work. My family is small town loggers. We work long days and treat others with honesty and respect. We aren't perfect but, we always try our best. I hope this life starts to be better soon. I am soon to start college again and work full time and be a single father. 3-4 hours of sleep max is what my reward will be for the next 5 years(getting my masters in Social Work!).
I wish more people were trying hard. I see too many people using the system. I have trying to go back to work and not get workman's comp. The doctor has been refusing. I feel like even though the accident happened at work I need to work. I see an old friend not working and using the government for free money to live. He is lazy and pisses me off. Of course, he is an OLD friend, not still good friend.
Sorry about ranting. Just feel like the world is pushing me down hard. I won't allow it to slow me down or stop me from being the best I can be. But, I needed to let my fellow alternative lifetsylers see me vent lol. ANd hopefully can maybe a positive influnece on them and maybe can have some support me as well.
Thanks for reading and keep your chin up, I know I will
I have been feeling really good lately in most aspects of my life. I have had the pleasure of joining here and meeting new people who are kind and positive, which I need. Thank you to all who have communicated with me on SG I have met a few new people in my area who are so kind and positive and helping me get my confidence back. I have been lucky enough to have my ex-wife finally allow me to see our daughter again. She won't allow me adopt still. But, I have been getting better.
Unfortunately. I have been unlucky as well. I had a hernia(my third) which required surgery, It happened June 30th, and had surgery July 30th. Finally get to go back to work Sept 10th(my wedding anniversary LOL!!). I have not been able to exercise. I have been stuck just wondering what went wrong in my marriage(see first blog) and not getting to see kid until August 11th(over a month).
I have been pondering all the good that has happened lately too. But, some days it is hard to be a positive influence on myself. My ex, dropped our daughter at Boys and Girls Club while it was closed. I had to rive 35 minutes on my day without her to get her. She walked up to strangers on the river here in a seedy neighborhood asking for help. The ex said "How was I to know it was closed?". There was a huge sign on the doors! Plus, she had a newsletter telling as such.
Then Friday, she hadn't filled out proper paperwork for the school bus to take her to Boys and Girls Club. I had told her for over a week to do this. It wasn't AGAIN my day with our daughter. I went to her school to pick her up 15 minutes after school ended. She was alone and scared again. I had to rescue from her negligent mother twice in 10 days, her mother being defiant and rude both times.
I started smoking again due to the stress of my ex and how she hurts our baby. I feel alone a lot and confused about what I did to deserve an ex like her and deserve an ex who treats our kid this way. It is appalling. I am wanting to believe her mother isn't using drugs but everyone thinks she is. I have no problem with single people or responsible using drugs. Even sober she isn't responsible.
I have always been focused on punctuality, honesty, and hard work. My family is small town loggers. We work long days and treat others with honesty and respect. We aren't perfect but, we always try our best. I hope this life starts to be better soon. I am soon to start college again and work full time and be a single father. 3-4 hours of sleep max is what my reward will be for the next 5 years(getting my masters in Social Work!).
I wish more people were trying hard. I see too many people using the system. I have trying to go back to work and not get workman's comp. The doctor has been refusing. I feel like even though the accident happened at work I need to work. I see an old friend not working and using the government for free money to live. He is lazy and pisses me off. Of course, he is an OLD friend, not still good friend.
Sorry about ranting. Just feel like the world is pushing me down hard. I won't allow it to slow me down or stop me from being the best I can be. But, I needed to let my fellow alternative lifetsylers see me vent lol. ANd hopefully can maybe a positive influnece on them and maybe can have some support me as well.
Thanks for reading and keep your chin up, I know I will
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But you are making the best out of it, just keep exploring the "new" life, the next stage...