alley_

So this person who I adore so very much left yesterday. Hes in route to Oregon where he will be living for the next 6 months. I know I will see him Monday and then here and there throughout the 6 months but for some reason I am so very sad. And most of all I feel like a retard for being so grumpy the last couple days he was in So. Cal. I was pouting because of certain actions he made or the lack there of. He wouldnt call when he said he would or he never seemed sad by the fact he couldnt see me. Then I realized these are things he has always done and Im just starting to react differently to them. Something in me changed. Ive become needy, selfish and jealous. Me no like. I didnt stop to think about all hes going through with moving and his recent loses. And here I am SO stressed out and in need of comfort from moving and everything and only thinking about me. I can be such a bitch sometimes. So Im glad I get to see him on Monday and all my stress from moving will be gone and we can have another good-bye, a better good-bye. So Im sorry for being retarded. Hope you have a safe trip.

In other news, today is my best friend and roommates 21St birthday and she just found out a girl she knows committed suicide last night. The girl took a bunch of pills and was found by her dad early this morning. He got her to puke everything up and he thought she was coherent enough to not have to take her to the hospital. So he put her in bed thinking she just needed to sleep it off. She ended up choking on her vomit and died despite all he tried to do. My heart goes out to her family and friends, especially Erin and Jenny.

So I have 4 more days to go with cleaning and fixing up the house. I hope I get enough done in time for me to take several hours off and hurry my ass to LA to watch my lovely Pearl shake her stuff. Im also very excited to meet some of my SG friends that are going to the show. Just to let everyone know I am so very shy and quite when meeting people for the first time. So if you see me, come up and just start talking. Ill come out of my shell eventually.

Thanks to everyone who sent me emails regarding donations to my bare walls. It sure means allot. The door is still open to anyone who would like to contribute to my very huge and very plain bedroom walls. Send email for further instructions. Thanks!