alkatraz

Yessica came back. She gave me some mace. we went to a porn shop to get a penis shaped cake pan and i was being stared at by this weird dude with big eyebrows. Yessica then disracted him, then he started for her.. he asked her name and tried to fallow up out, if he wasnt carrying a porno that beeped when he headed out the door, we would have been drug into the 'rapes-r-us' ally way behind the building, and probobly be molested and cut into little pieced which he would then make stew with and bring to a company picnic or somthing. it WAS an adventure.

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I think that even since i met James (Cricket) i havnt gone a day without seeing him.

the other night we mad a little falling out... i made a huge mistake. i gave his ring back to him (the ring he ALWAYS wears... i put it on a necklace and then i had it around my neck and never took it off) but i was soo pissed at him... but then we had a talk.. and he told him not to give up on me... because he really doesnt want to lose me...so... i forgave him. somtimes he needs to grow up... but like.. when hes upset about somthing.. he WONT talk to me about it.. and that makes me mad.. and like he'll do the most annoying stuff and i was ask him to stop.. then he wont listen to me.. and then he just tests my nerves and i flip out on him. i HONESTLY think i might be falling for him.. but somtimes he just trips my trigger.
Him and i have been recently having alot of talks about HIS future. hes still young. and HAS a chance at a furture. hes in school.. he needs to stay there and finish and have a deploma. he needs to find himself a job. and cut down on the weed a little, and about him being so distracted all the time... and being sorry for not always giving me attention. he also want to grow up and just make SOMTHING of himself. he told me hes going to change for the better.
I know this probobly has nothing to do with him at all.. but i started cutting myself again.... it started him my had.. then i did it again at work sunday morning... and then saturday night in Travis' bathroom with Torri.... i keep telling Cricket about it trying to be honest cuz i dont want to keep anything from him.. so i tell him.. and then give him my razor blades.. i promised him i wont do it again.
I have this necklace.... well wo neckalces... one of them is a key.. and the other one is a heart with a key cutout in it.. and on the heart is says "he who holds the key can unlock my heart".. so i finally gave Cricket the key.,. and he wears it somtimes i cant even remember when i did when i get up in the morning.. but i always seem to remember me being happy when im with him.

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i thought i actually get to effing sleep cuz mondays i usually hgave off work and schoool... but NO Shance had different intentions.. he called me at like 1130am and like was waiting outside my house for me.. so i HAD to leave wiht him... i have no makup on or anytihng.. eww.. but cricket and rosie said that i looked good still without it.. so yeah. i hung out wiht Shance and went to chest out car stereos at best buy where i was this did there who like molsted Asphyxiia on Valentines Day infront of me.. and he kept trying to help us and i just gave him dirty looks. then we went to Rosie's where i broke in one of the two of my new bowls yeah! and with started me and Rosie getting high. alll fricket day...

then we and Rosie hung out wiht this dude... "chastity belt" is what i will call him.. but anyways.. i think hes fly.. we ate all kinds of Korean munchies that we brought over. Cricket doesnt trust him and i dont think Rosie likes him.. he was hardcore hitting on us both too. he was standing over me one time and crickets like "get the fuck away from my girlfirend" eh... i think hes cool tho. he told me if i wasnt with Cricket he'd go after me.

we all ended up going over Torri's apparement and drank and smoked for mike's b-day. i molested Cricket in a closet.. and in the bathroom......) i gave him like hugh hickies on his neck... and i was sucking on his hipbones unil he meaned and panted. it was cute

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Mike likes Rosie.. and Rosie likes Mike. hehehe!! but what will she do with Shance....... DUM DUM DUM!!!


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the other day i skipped school.... went to breakfast with mike.. then us... and Rosie and Cricket all went to Maiden Voyage so see Roxie the tattooist wiht the eye patch! and me and Rosie got tattoos together... Rosie got the bathman emblum on her ankle. and i got "Por Nada" right above the skull on my back .

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i know alot more has happened... but im was probobly too stoned



damnit.. all i know is... Cricket better not turn somone thats a waste of my effing time. and i know if this ends between us.. i'll crumble inside..