alkatraz

I HAVE THE HUGEST CRUSH ON CRICKET(JAMES)!!!
i think he is the cutest person i have seen in a looooooong time. dont u always feel weird whenever u think somones really good looking. and then they like you.. you feel like.. they should want to be with somone better looking than you. well thats how i feel. ugh. i LOVE the way he looks at me...last nite i was like "cricket.. your stareing at me..... are you looking for imperfections?" and he moves in close and whispers "i cant find any", i like fricken melted all over the place. and 16 and like... Jailbait.. but i dont fucking care!

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Tonite we (Paul, Mike, Rosie, and Cricket) went over to crickets moms house and we smoked weed with his mom dude! and i met his bro.. whos kinda... creepy..and well when i was over there and cricket left the room he was poking me and shit.. and after we were leaving they were all outside and i was alone in a room with his bro hes like "you got a car right? you wanna stay longer and hang out?" like.. he wanted me to stay there.. while everyone else left .. why would cricket leave and i stay.. Eh.. Cricket said he probobly likes me...

Also... i told Asphyxiia that i like Cricket.. and she told me she likes Rosie.. and Rosie i know likes her.. so.. maybe we will be swapping... I will have Cricket and she will have Rosie. hehe.

I need some alone time with Cricket.. he always touches my legs and stuff.. anf last nite i was out til 6 am with him and yessica (this girl i met the other nite whos cool, she dropped cheese on her boob while eating so i call her Yessica-Cheese-On-Boob, but u have to say it with a japanese accent).. and b4 we parted he pecked me on the lips. it was so cute. and when we are talking up steps or down somthing steep. he holds me hand so i dont trip or anything. and tonite we were sitting in my car and he was leaning on me.. rubbing on my leg, and i was playing with his hair..


Shit im babbling... and my puppy dogness is like setting in again.. and so dont surprised to hear mindless babbling about him for the next few entries.

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I had a fucking date tonite with a 26 year old guy who looks like the lead singer of fucking Weezer! he works on and fixes the computers at my moms work, he took me out to eat at Lunadri's (an italian resturante', kinda pricey)and paid for it.. n e ways.. surprisingly CUTE and nice. talks about himself alot but, hes neat. eh... he wants to go out again next week some time.

i dunno what to do.. what idf he starts liking me.. i will have a 26 yr old and a 16yr old to choose from. and if cricket does ask me out and stuff.. eh.. i dont want to think about that right now.
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The movie Garden State makes me cry... i want somone to hug me really tight and hold me and tell me "i feel really safe with you.. like i'm home" ide die!