I have had a niggling sore stomach for about two weeks now. Just under my ribs. It's not agony or anything, just niggling like I said. When I'm anxious my stomach gets very tense and when I eat my stomach tends to hurt for a while after. It can even be sore to the touch. I'll try and lie flat and rub my belly like you would burp a baby and gradually the stomach ache will ease off and the trapped wind will move and I'll fart it out and feel better eventually.
Lately my stomach has hurt in the same place every day. Particularly in the late afternoon onwards. I am very aware of anything going wrong in my body. I have been pretty lucky with my physical health so far in my adult life. I've had to get stitches a few times, but nothing serious (I feel the need to cross my fingers of touch wood as I type this). The nearest hospital is more than thirty miles away. Last year I had to get an xray the next town over, fourteen miles away. I fretted so badly about being so far from my safe place. The waiting room was a nightmare of handwringing. I couldn't get home fast enough.
Part of my thinks I just have anxiety and it's giving me extra stomach acid, but another part of me is downright terrified I have problems with something wrong with my gallbladder, which can be really painful. That's the area my discomfort is in. This is the stuff that keeps me awake at night.
I've created an elaborate web of fantasies and denial so I don't have to deal with real life but real life just keeps fucking with me.
