poop in my shoes.... so i went back to my old apartment yesterday, as per my manager's request, and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed away cinderella style.spent 5 hours cleaning. the problem is that a lot of the dirt is just other peoples' grime from over the years. i don't know when the last time they replaced the bathtub and the kitchen floor was. it's a million times cleaner now than it was when i moved in, so if that's still not enough, they can fucking kiss my ass!
got really depressed yesterday. sometimes everything just feels so pointless, and i feel completely lost on my way. like sometimes i just go about my days and everything is fine, and then i stop and wonder what i'm doing and why i'm doing it and shit like that. i'm unmotivated, and quite confused. i'm not really happy with myself right now. well, i'm not happy with some other things either...... i worry that my sister will make me more depressed this weekend.... i'm having a hard time letting go of the little kid in me. i just don't want to, and i know that i don't really have to. but there's people who seem to either treat me like i'm 9, or expect me to act like i'm a boring 40 year old housewife who never has any fun. i'm 20, part adult, more so still a kid.
i went to the atm last night. when i got back to my car, it wouldn't start. it kept making that sound that it makes right before it actually turns on. it had been running fine before. so i call aaa for the 3rd time in shortly over a month, and they tow it for me. this makes me even more sad. and of course the car starts running fine at 4am. but i'm scared to get in my car and go anywhere. i don't want to be stuck somewhere.
my friend called me from the azores the other day. her and my other friend have been there since the end of may, and this was the first time i had talked to her. it was good to hear her voice and know that they're having a good time. on those expensive very long distance phone calls, you never want to talk about the bad stuff, just stuff, and how you miss each other.....
got really depressed yesterday. sometimes everything just feels so pointless, and i feel completely lost on my way. like sometimes i just go about my days and everything is fine, and then i stop and wonder what i'm doing and why i'm doing it and shit like that. i'm unmotivated, and quite confused. i'm not really happy with myself right now. well, i'm not happy with some other things either...... i worry that my sister will make me more depressed this weekend.... i'm having a hard time letting go of the little kid in me. i just don't want to, and i know that i don't really have to. but there's people who seem to either treat me like i'm 9, or expect me to act like i'm a boring 40 year old housewife who never has any fun. i'm 20, part adult, more so still a kid.
i went to the atm last night. when i got back to my car, it wouldn't start. it kept making that sound that it makes right before it actually turns on. it had been running fine before. so i call aaa for the 3rd time in shortly over a month, and they tow it for me. this makes me even more sad. and of course the car starts running fine at 4am. but i'm scared to get in my car and go anywhere. i don't want to be stuck somewhere.
my friend called me from the azores the other day. her and my other friend have been there since the end of may, and this was the first time i had talked to her. it was good to hear her voice and know that they're having a good time. on those expensive very long distance phone calls, you never want to talk about the bad stuff, just stuff, and how you miss each other.....
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
maxx:
It was from Freeway! Arg!!! I should have known that. I'm sorry we all failed you.
morgan:
if i could still have favourite SGs, i would so have you as one of them. Pretty pretty girl!