algebra

finally 21! made it to a strip club on broadway my birthday night. my friend bought me a lap dance. really fucking hot. girls dancing all up on me are nice.

i miss elijah. i hope he comes back to san francisco soon. i want more than sending naked polaroids and masturbating.

i found out that is was jairo who i was kissing in the club, but davis and i ended up cuddling/sleeping in my bed. that guy has a girlfriend and i think i am leading jairo on. i don't even know what to write in here. i guess because i don't know who reads this, if anyone. um i had a nice self induced orgasm...
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there are two sides to me. i love my depression and the blood that comes with cutting. i love how i have scars on my wrist and soon scars on my hips. sometimes i can't stop crying and i beat my fists into my bed saying, "i'm a mess." somestimes i love self destruction. then there is the other side. the part of me that...
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