Hi there! It’s been years since I’ve been on here. I wanted to share this shirt with you! My boyfriend bought it for himself and within minutes it became mine! I miss shooting, I loved being a an SG. It gave me so much confidence, made me feel part of something super cool and got to meet all kinds of great people. I’m not
Sure if il ever shoot a set again. My body has changed drastically as age can make us gain weight and loose that spark that youth gives us but aging is a beautiful process. I love who I am today so much more then who I was in the past.
Today I can truly say I love the person I’m becoming, the type of daughter I am, the type of girlfriend I am, friend, sister and aunt.
I was an addict for 12 years and never once felt at peace with myself. Everyday there was chaos and hurt and disappointment. Lots of shame, insecurity, lying, toxicity and isolation. Hanging around with the wrong crowds. Not acting in accordance to my values.
I am one year and 3months sober and it is the best feeling in the world knowing that change is possible. It takes patience and time, and lots of hard work. It takes trying and trying again and never giving up no matter how many times you fail. It takes support and is not a job that can be done alone.
I did treatment after treatment and always wanted to get better but no matter how bad things were, no matter how many rock bottoms I hit nothing changed.
My guilt and shame were eating me alive and it got to a point were I just restarted trying every day. One minute at a time, one day at a time. I’d do good then relapse. Start over. Eventually a day turned to a week and a week a month.
I was clean for 8months then thought I was ready to start dating after being single for a long time. That threw me for a loop and when it ended I relapsed for 5 weeks. Got back on my feet. Tried and tried again and now I’m ecstatic to say that I’m one year and 3mo the sober.
Life is amazing. In all areas. It’s still hard tho. I transferred my addictions onto smoking, shopping, over eating.. I still deal with flash backs from ptsd and nightmares almost every night of using and the past. Some days I still crave using pretty badly. Other days are smooth and light and peaceful.
It is a process. And one that I’m currently working on. I’m doing an outpatient program with the royal Ottawa hospital at the end of the month and I’m really looking forward to seeing where this opportunity can take me.
If you need or want help, there are so many FREE resources out there that are ready to help! There are wait times but eventually your name will be called. Doing the work takes acceptance, admitting to yourself that you need help, and taking the time to put in the work.
what is more important then your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health? Peace of mind is a true gift - and change is definitely possible.
baby steps. Make one small adjustment to your daily routine if that’s all you can do and you will see that by making these slightly altered changes in behaviour there will be big impact.
I hope for everyone out there who reads this knows that we are not our past. We are not what we say we will be. We are what we do. And we cannot get where we want to be overnight. We need small daily shifts to our routine and listening to our intuition.
you already know what you want. But change is a scary. So make measurable attainable goals. Going to bed 15min earlier a night. Getting up 15min earlier in the morning. Reading 5 pages a day. Stretching for 5minutes. Drinking more water. Pick one thing and work on it for a week until it becomes second nature.
This blog is a mishmash of words and feelings and half ass advice and I posted this all to show you my vintage SG tshirt.
im working on building my confidence. I would love to be comfortable enough with my body to do another set. That would be amazing. Thanks for taking. The time to read. I believe in you , we are all made of magic and have the power inside ourselves to heal and be whoever we want to be!
If you want to hear more of my story in detail then message me and I will consider writing a mini memoirs. Alectros still here ! She’s just a lot older and a little thicker lol
Peace and love 💕
